My feeling in my heart is anarchist but a few real world things have happened to me that makes me see the golden path to anarchism paradoxically require the tanks

1. All my “anarchist” (white) friends from growing up in the US either died young from the rot in that society transitioned into libertarians than conservatives as we got into our mid 40s. Oddly the trans issue is what seems to really radicalize them into fascism.
2. Leaving the US and being afforded the ability to see what that society actually stands for from the outside.
3. The white “anarchists” in the US so neatly fall into their cruel and inhuman system of global domination and appear to be their puppets. Their criticisms of it are always in favor of maintaining their comfort and status quo. Their hopelessness and fatalism serves its interests. It is obvious from here
4. Watching the US destroy my family with tanks that were still living in Iraq and Iran
5. Understanding how the COINTELPRO actually works. They don’t just fund Christian fundamentalism. They fund anything to distract people from class consciousness including modern art, liberalism, rap and hip hop, and even seemingly radical orgs like Direct Action Everywhere.
6. Reading history. I don’t know how you can read Lenin and come to the conclusion that he was wrong