Mostly because having a disorder that is a daily reminder of how much work it is just to function on a day to day basis and apparently remembering the fuck ups way more than the good things since the fuck ups are basically the same thing each time. It feels worse and worse each year, and honestly my biggest fear is that I will get dementia and not be able to tell because it that is how I have felt my entire life.
That said, reminding myself that I’m doing pretty well is the counterbalance that keeps me going. I’ve accepted my limits and just roll along with becoming a jack of all trades that still has to relearn anything I haven’t done for a few years. Meds help while they are active, but they don’t work 24 hours a day.
“I’ve accepted my limits and just roll along with becoming a jack of all trades that still has to relearn anything I haven’t done for a few years.”
This is tremendously relatable, and captures one of the things that I genuinely feel proud of. There are days where I’m like the person in the OP, but the more I practice at understanding and leaning into my nature, the easier it becomes to break out of that wistful cycle of internalised ableism
Mostly because having a disorder that is a daily reminder of how much work it is just to function on a day to day basis and apparently remembering the fuck ups way more than the good things since the fuck ups are basically the same thing each time. It feels worse and worse each year, and honestly my biggest fear is that I will get dementia and not be able to tell because it that is how I have felt my entire life.
That said, reminding myself that I’m doing pretty well is the counterbalance that keeps me going. I’ve accepted my limits and just roll along with becoming a jack of all trades that still has to relearn anything I haven’t done for a few years. Meds help while they are active, but they don’t work 24 hours a day.
This is tremendously relatable, and captures one of the things that I genuinely feel proud of. There are days where I’m like the person in the OP, but the more I practice at understanding and leaning into my nature, the easier it becomes to break out of that wistful cycle of internalised ableism