Yeah, no shit. That is exactly why therapy and drugs are so important. I only recently got diagnosed and have started to work on these issues. I score on all but one of the mentioned “taxes”. I’m 42 years old. Don’t be an ass.
I think the worst part is that even if you do all you can to avoid these things, they may still happen anyway.
The so-called ADHD tax is not something I am personally super affected by because I am usually too paranoid about bankruptcy to spend on much of anything outside of food, bills and necessities.
However things still happen where I lose money because I am the way that I am. There was a period where I became very into eating cucumbers and I would buy one everytime I was at the store until I realized we had six whole cucumbers in the fridge and some of them were going bad.
Things like that happen even though I hate spending money. Even if I don’t mean to. They still happen.
The area where I struggle the absolute most is when it comes to structure and routine. You wouldn’t believe how many systems I have tried, how strict I have been about them and how every single one of them have collapsed into rubble after a few months. I yearn for structure, routine and stability, but I can’t fucking do it without help. I just can’t. It is so much effort to build a house of cards and then life happens, like a gust of wind and I have to start from scratch. Every. Single. Time. You can’t put the world on pause to have your feeble attempt at stability survive for longer. Shit happens. Sickness, weekends, vacations, family visits and so on. They happen and they will fuck up every attempt at structure I have every single time. My life is the closest to structured when I live the same day over and over and cut out all enjoyment and spontaneity, but that’s not how life works. It took me many years to accept this. I just have to build my house of cards all the time and I have to accept that it will collapse all the time.
I imagine that those who really struggle with the ADHD tax are in similar positions. If the tax is to them what the inability to keep structure is to me, then I feel pretty bad for them. Especially if they’re being told to “just do it and stop making excuses”.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. From my experience there is no perfect solution, routines take time and effort to develop. You can put energy into developing routine, wake up one morning and find it doesn’t work anymore. It’s like trying to hit a constantly moving target.
My commentary is about the image. I view it as promoting acceptance of behaviors that are unhealthy. I resent the implication that I’m helpless to my impulses, when I have worked so hard to control them.
Not trying to invalidate anyone’s experience, just sharing mine
I dunno if I find the meme to be promoting acceptance of that type of behavior tbh. There may be some people out there who will use it to excuse bad behavior and never try to improve. I see memes like this as funny commentary on symptoms that are pretty annoying, but not much else.
It’d be different if it was a meme that basically said that trying to change and improve is futile and one might as well give up or something like that. I wouldn’t agree with that. One always have to try, but it is okay to remember that some things will probably never be easy and that isn’t really your fault if you try your best and still fail sometimes.
I know a disproportionate amount of ADHDers in my personal life and most of them keep trying and they do their best. Some function really well while others struggle a bit more. I only really know one ADHDer who refuses to take responsibility for himself and constantly blames everybody else for his predicaments. Needless to say, most people don’t like this guy and he isn’t really getting anywhere in life because of his attitude. ADHDers like him would look at any ADHD meme and use it to confirm their own victimhood and continue to make it other people’s problems that they are like this.
Meanwhile most others will look at these meme and go “lol, I do do that, but I’m working on it” in some shape or form.
Save your patronising nonsense - stop trivialising and dismissing a real neurological condition because you lack the awareness to understand the condition doesn’t impact everyone the same.
I’m sorry you feel I’m being patronizing. I have been struggling with ADHD & Dyslexia my whole life. I do understand that the condition doesn’t effect everyone the same.
Wow, I never thought of it that way. Maybe neurodivergent people are just lazy. Have you shared this fresh insight with the medical community? They’re going to want to hear this right away.
Hello, I’m neurodivergent. I have put a lot of time and effort into therapy and treatment. It’s not easy, but yes you can actually do things to control unhealthy impulses.
I’m sorry my words came across as condescending. My experiences and views are my own.
My view is that this image gives license to acceptance of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I believe there are ways to curb these impulses, however people with ADHD will always have to work harder at that.
I’ll be sincere here, the issue that this is clearly a forum for ADHD memes. People are here to have a chuckle and commiserate about shared experiences. Everyone here is aware that these aren’t good or useful behaviors.
It’s not about normalizing these behaviors, it’s about contextualizing them. If someone has been struggling with these things their whole life, there’s a good chance they’ve been told over and over again that they should try harder to not do these things, but without any compassion or accommodation or treatment. They’ve heard “oh, you should be able to control those things” from people who don’t have trouble with these things, and your comment is basically indistinguishable from that sentiment.
People know these are unhealthy behaviors, they know there are ways to work on them, and they are probably already doing that work. It’s unhelpful and tedious to point out that these are bad and you can work on them.
Thanks for being sincere, I totally see your perspective. However, as someone who struggles with all the behaviors in the image. I’m also allowed to simply not like the image and its sentiment.
Saying there are things you can do to control impulses, does not trivialize the effort needed. Will these things be successful for everyone? Nope.
I feel that the image communicates acceptance, and I’m entitled to simply not liking that sentiment.
Genuinely sorry if you felt hurt by this perspective
I control my impulses. I have all my life. I recently got diagnosed (no medication yet) and I got told I’m tired from dusk till dawn and sleep 10+ hours a day while Im capable of working for just a few because I spend all my energy controlling those impulses.
Think of it this way. ADHD is not entitled cunts being lazy and making up a disease. ADHD is the same impulse that tells you not to turn your car into oncoming traffic being used to prevent you from doing some things.
I know what ADHD is, I have spent 30 years working on controlling impulsive behaviors in my own treatment. I’m not always successful, but there are absolutely techniques that can help.
Many of these things can be curbed through medication and therapy. And people with ADHD will still pay more an average for all of them. Both things are true.
Medication and therapy helps me with every issue I have apart from these actually. It’s like there’s no neural connections between my will and ability to do these things.
My ADHD wife does them for me instead and I use my OCD superpowers to keep the place tidy as repayment.
This is exactly how I feel looking at this “meme”. It’s all money related and feels like it’s encouraging people to say things like “oops I forgot to cancel my Amazon prime subscription, I must have ADHD haha”. We live in overwhelming times, too much information everywhere, too many subscriptions, too much stuff with instant access, but nobody ever mentions that.
People used to get their news from a newspaper once a week. There weren’t 10-20 “subscriptions” to keep track of. You couldn’t pull a thing out of your pocket to relieve boredom or sadness or loneliness, and people couldn’t contact you expecting a response within an hour. We’re not used to this biologically…
To me, this meme seems to be making fun of ADHD more than anything.
Most of these replies seem to assume I have no understanding or empathy for these problems. I just don’t like the image, and the implication that we have absolutely zero control over impulsive decision making.
To control impulses does not mean to cure them. My experiences as a person with ADHD are just as valid as everyone else’s.
Seems like people don’t want to drown in sadness, they’re trying to express pain, connect, and maybe find relief instead of bottling it up alone. If anything you’re the one with the weird dismissive vibes.
People with ADHD struggle with tasks like cancelling subscriptions because ADHD affects executive function, which makes it harder to remember deadlines, manage time, and follow through on boring or repetitive admin tasks that don’t have immediate rewards. It’s not abstract eejit.
It’s tragic, medication and therapy work. I used to think the problem wasn’t my ADHD, but trying to function within societies expectations. Now I would maintain treatment, even if I didn’t need to “perform” for survival.
Your initial post didn’t suggest therapy and meds at all. It sounded way more condescending, as in “simply get your act together and start doing better”. Therapy takes time and some people have it way worse than others.
Yeah that’s how most people read it, all good though I don’t mind elaborating. Or apologizing if I hurt feelings. I just don’t really like the image and what it says to me.
You can actually do things to control impulses. I feel like this is just giving license to unhealthy coping mechanisms. 🤷♂️
Yeah, no shit. That is exactly why therapy and drugs are so important. I only recently got diagnosed and have started to work on these issues. I score on all but one of the mentioned “taxes”. I’m 42 years old. Don’t be an ass.
I think the worst part is that even if you do all you can to avoid these things, they may still happen anyway.
The so-called ADHD tax is not something I am personally super affected by because I am usually too paranoid about bankruptcy to spend on much of anything outside of food, bills and necessities.
However things still happen where I lose money because I am the way that I am. There was a period where I became very into eating cucumbers and I would buy one everytime I was at the store until I realized we had six whole cucumbers in the fridge and some of them were going bad.
Things like that happen even though I hate spending money. Even if I don’t mean to. They still happen.
The area where I struggle the absolute most is when it comes to structure and routine. You wouldn’t believe how many systems I have tried, how strict I have been about them and how every single one of them have collapsed into rubble after a few months. I yearn for structure, routine and stability, but I can’t fucking do it without help. I just can’t. It is so much effort to build a house of cards and then life happens, like a gust of wind and I have to start from scratch. Every. Single. Time. You can’t put the world on pause to have your feeble attempt at stability survive for longer. Shit happens. Sickness, weekends, vacations, family visits and so on. They happen and they will fuck up every attempt at structure I have every single time. My life is the closest to structured when I live the same day over and over and cut out all enjoyment and spontaneity, but that’s not how life works. It took me many years to accept this. I just have to build my house of cards all the time and I have to accept that it will collapse all the time.
I imagine that those who really struggle with the ADHD tax are in similar positions. If the tax is to them what the inability to keep structure is to me, then I feel pretty bad for them. Especially if they’re being told to “just do it and stop making excuses”.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. From my experience there is no perfect solution, routines take time and effort to develop. You can put energy into developing routine, wake up one morning and find it doesn’t work anymore. It’s like trying to hit a constantly moving target.
My commentary is about the image. I view it as promoting acceptance of behaviors that are unhealthy. I resent the implication that I’m helpless to my impulses, when I have worked so hard to control them.
Not trying to invalidate anyone’s experience, just sharing mine
That’s valid, my friend!
I dunno if I find the meme to be promoting acceptance of that type of behavior tbh. There may be some people out there who will use it to excuse bad behavior and never try to improve. I see memes like this as funny commentary on symptoms that are pretty annoying, but not much else.
It’d be different if it was a meme that basically said that trying to change and improve is futile and one might as well give up or something like that. I wouldn’t agree with that. One always have to try, but it is okay to remember that some things will probably never be easy and that isn’t really your fault if you try your best and still fail sometimes.
I know a disproportionate amount of ADHDers in my personal life and most of them keep trying and they do their best. Some function really well while others struggle a bit more. I only really know one ADHDer who refuses to take responsibility for himself and constantly blames everybody else for his predicaments. Needless to say, most people don’t like this guy and he isn’t really getting anywhere in life because of his attitude. ADHDers like him would look at any ADHD meme and use it to confirm their own victimhood and continue to make it other people’s problems that they are like this.
Meanwhile most others will look at these meme and go “lol, I do do that, but I’m working on it” in some shape or form.
Oh can you aye thanks for letting us know.
Fanny.
I can’t get the accent that goes with this phrase out of my head. This response is so perfect 🤣
Yep! There is no perfect solution, it takes time and effort. Things can get better.
Fuck up eejit I probably do more in a day than you do in a week.
I avoid assuming things about people I don’t know
Do you, aye? Apart from the comment I replied to that is? Away fling shite at the moon.
I’m not going to react in the way you appear to be seeking. I’m speaking from my own experiences, you are welcome to share yours and how they differ.
YOU cAN aCtuallY dO ThINgs to cONTroL iMpulses.
Save your patronising nonsense - stop trivialising and dismissing a real neurological condition because you lack the awareness to understand the condition doesn’t impact everyone the same.
I’m sorry you feel I’m being patronizing. I have been struggling with ADHD & Dyslexia my whole life. I do understand that the condition doesn’t effect everyone the same.
deleted by creator
Oh my god! I’m cured! Thank you, oh god thank you! I’m going to go tell my wife to try bring happy when she’s depressed! You’re a miracle worker!
Even if you do everything you can to avoid these things, statistically adhd folks will do them more than neurotipical people
Wow, I never thought of it that way. Maybe neurodivergent people are just lazy. Have you shared this fresh insight with the medical community? They’re going to want to hear this right away.
Hello, I’m neurodivergent. I have put a lot of time and effort into therapy and treatment. It’s not easy, but yes you can actually do things to control unhealthy impulses.
This is well documented in the medical community
So the point still stands.
I agree with everything you said. I don’t like the image, because i personally feel that its giving license to accepting unhealthy behaviors.
These are all things I struggle with myself
Next time you’re with your therapist, ask about controlling your impulse to be condescending.
I’m sorry my words came across as condescending. My experiences and views are my own.
My view is that this image gives license to acceptance of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I believe there are ways to curb these impulses, however people with ADHD will always have to work harder at that.
I’ll be sincere here, the issue that this is clearly a forum for ADHD memes. People are here to have a chuckle and commiserate about shared experiences. Everyone here is aware that these aren’t good or useful behaviors.
It’s not about normalizing these behaviors, it’s about contextualizing them. If someone has been struggling with these things their whole life, there’s a good chance they’ve been told over and over again that they should try harder to not do these things, but without any compassion or accommodation or treatment. They’ve heard “oh, you should be able to control those things” from people who don’t have trouble with these things, and your comment is basically indistinguishable from that sentiment.
People know these are unhealthy behaviors, they know there are ways to work on them, and they are probably already doing that work. It’s unhelpful and tedious to point out that these are bad and you can work on them.
Thanks for being sincere, I totally see your perspective. However, as someone who struggles with all the behaviors in the image. I’m also allowed to simply not like the image and its sentiment.
Saying there are things you can do to control impulses, does not trivialize the effort needed. Will these things be successful for everyone? Nope.
I feel that the image communicates acceptance, and I’m entitled to simply not liking that sentiment.
Genuinely sorry if you felt hurt by this perspective
Edit: words
I control my impulses. I have all my life. I recently got diagnosed (no medication yet) and I got told I’m tired from dusk till dawn and sleep 10+ hours a day while Im capable of working for just a few because I spend all my energy controlling those impulses.
Think of it this way. ADHD is not entitled cunts being lazy and making up a disease. ADHD is the same impulse that tells you not to turn your car into oncoming traffic being used to prevent you from doing some things.
I know what ADHD is, I have spent 30 years working on controlling impulsive behaviors in my own treatment. I’m not always successful, but there are absolutely techniques that can help.
Good for you kiddo. Everyone is different tho. Just cause some people can literally bend their joints backwards does not mean everyone can do that.
Yes, people with ADHD all experience things differently. My experiences don’t invalidate the experiences of others.
Many of these things can be curbed through medication and therapy. And people with ADHD will still pay more an average for all of them. Both things are true.
Not to mention people with ADHD aren’t a monolith, everyone experiences things differently
Medication and therapy helps me with every issue I have apart from these actually. It’s like there’s no neural connections between my will and ability to do these things.
My ADHD wife does them for me instead and I use my OCD superpowers to keep the place tidy as repayment.
This is exactly how I feel looking at this “meme”. It’s all money related and feels like it’s encouraging people to say things like “oops I forgot to cancel my Amazon prime subscription, I must have ADHD haha”. We live in overwhelming times, too much information everywhere, too many subscriptions, too much stuff with instant access, but nobody ever mentions that.
People used to get their news from a newspaper once a week. There weren’t 10-20 “subscriptions” to keep track of. You couldn’t pull a thing out of your pocket to relieve boredom or sadness or loneliness, and people couldn’t contact you expecting a response within an hour. We’re not used to this biologically…
To me, this meme seems to be making fun of ADHD more than anything.
Most of these replies seem to assume I have no understanding or empathy for these problems. I just don’t like the image, and the implication that we have absolutely zero control over impulsive decision making.
To control impulses does not mean to cure them. My experiences as a person with ADHD are just as valid as everyone else’s.
Sadly there are a ton of these kinds of things here on Lemmy. Also seems like some people want to drown in their sadness and spread it.
Seems like people don’t want to drown in sadness, they’re trying to express pain, connect, and maybe find relief instead of bottling it up alone. If anything you’re the one with the weird dismissive vibes.
People with ADHD struggle with tasks like cancelling subscriptions because ADHD affects executive function, which makes it harder to remember deadlines, manage time, and follow through on boring or repetitive admin tasks that don’t have immediate rewards. It’s not abstract eejit.
It’s tragic, medication and therapy work. I used to think the problem wasn’t my ADHD, but trying to function within societies expectations. Now I would maintain treatment, even if I didn’t need to “perform” for survival.
It can get better!
Your initial post didn’t suggest therapy and meds at all. It sounded way more condescending, as in “simply get your act together and start doing better”. Therapy takes time and some people have it way worse than others.
Yeah that’s how most people read it, all good though I don’t mind elaborating. Or apologizing if I hurt feelings. I just don’t really like the image and what it says to me.