• stufkes@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If you see yourself in this meme, here’s two books for you to read:

    1. “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” by Jonice Webb
    2. “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents” by Lindsay C Gibson

    The first one is specifically about how neglect can manifest itself. If you find your parents love you but you still feel empty or devoid of their affection, this might be useful. Especially good to read when you don’t buy the “depression is just genetic and it just happens to some people” narrative.

    The second one is more general about different types of connection and bonding. Very useful to understand where your parents might come from and why they behave(d) like they do/did. Also helps stem the tide against the current internet’s "everyone with bad behaviour is a narcissist " theme

    • kamenoko@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      I’ll add The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller which is a very short but powerful book that was the first to really advocate for children of abusive parents. It will also give you some tools to evaluate psychologists and make sure they aren’t using you for their unmet emotional needs.

    • electrogamerman@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Which book do you recommend if my parents loved me but didn’t know how to deal with a gay son? Or they love th parts that didn’t involve my sexuality and neglected everything else.

  • gotnuffin@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I feel you there person.

    Mine are very old. Of recent, not a day goes by of inner turmoil bubbling up, wanting me to give them a blast with both barrels (figuratively) about a lifetime of emotional neglect. But I just bite my tongue and talk about the weather over phone. It’s some kind of sick martyrdom controlling my emotions so they don’t have to really feel … right to the bitter end.