I don’t that’s why I just strap GoPros to my car with duct tape

its tramatized me

i feel that way sometimes. one time i was tracking a little group of 5 deer (2 female, one male, and two 5-month-old fawns), and i had lost them. i said “shit.” and somebody said “what’s wrong?” to which i replied “i lost the deer i was tracking.” “hmmm.” said the voice sympathetically. “yes, that will happen sometimes. no matter.” i then realized that somebody was talking to me when i shouldn’t be talking to people nobody knew about my secret place in the woods. “wait.” i said turning around. it was a bird. “yes?” the bird cocked his head. it was a cardinal. my patron bird. “is something the matter?” “yes,” i said, “you’re a talking bird.” the bird twitched his feathers. “is that a problem?” i shook my head. “no, i just was surprised. ive never seen a talking bird before.” “well, now you have. but im here for a very special reason.” “what reason is that?” “Extremely special. but, before i tell you, I must tell you my name.” “my name is Red.” dun dun dunnnnnnnnn its actually a story I’m writing so tune in for more soon

ok. I’ll keep that in mind.

oh, thanks! so should I keep posting the dumb homophobic shit my coworkers say to me?

okkkkayyyyy…? should i take I down? I want your guy’s honest opinion so I can know what you want me to post :)

honestly I wasn’t even trying to ragebait you I was just spitting facts bro like trust

what no you turn back into creative and either build a crane cause you can double jump to fly or you can download a mod for the crane and just spawn one

crawler cranes…? like baby cranes? how cute

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I used to like math too

when were were counting lil squares on the paper and when were awarded a piece of candy or one of those smelly erasers

but then they were like “hey why don’t you just solve this simple problem? its about identifying perpendicular lines on a graph to find an angle measure in a right triangle. but were not gonna tell you what the number is. hell, were not even gonna give you a graph. or a pencil. or a paper. you’re gonna have to make your own paper and pencil. and here’s a essay for some fucking reason, cause this is math and you need to write a fucking 31 page ESSAY about TRIANGLES!!!”

that was math for me :)

no its really not

that one employee:

exactly

wait is that to me or to her

They’re all shaped like guns if anybody didn’t notice

I didn’t until I did

you’re welcome people who are as stupid as me :)

Hmmm. Maybe…

to make your very own clippy:

one kg of cocaine

one power charged joint

one bottle of vodka

red chalk or whatever shit they use to draw those pentagrams in movies

white candles. They gotta be white

your own jizz

your blood

a paper clip of course

and finally a kidney

sniff the cocaine, drink the vodka, and smoke the joint AFTER drawing the pentagram and lighting the candles. Then place the paper clip in the center, jizz on it, pour your blood on it, and chant “clippy” while running around the circle with your underwear on your head. It’ll probably work.

The kidney is so you can get a new kidney after you drank a whole bottle of vodka why’d you do that I didn’t tell you to. Oh wait no I did nevermind. But alcohol isn’t good for your kidney so you gotta get that replaced

isn’t it obvious???

They switch to creative mode and build the crane cause now they can fly. or if they have the right mod pack then they can just spawn one. We common folk don’t have the authority to switch to creative

that’s why I want to be a construction worker when I grow up :)

This is political

also random flashback:

did anybody play “zombies vs. Humans” in PE class? Where some kids were Humans and the other were zombies and the goal was to “eliminate the human race” as my PE teacher told us. It was like tag, sharks and minnows, dodgeball and red light green light combined to make the most chaotic game of all time. And the rainbow parachute that you got to wave around and the hula hoops and the little rock wall and…oh, memories.i miss elementary school :(