My dog’s hair is going grey. I blame vaccines

54% of us read at a 6th grade level. You do not hate your neighbors to the south nearly enough

That’s generally how it works if your dog or cat (or squirrel) bites someone. Unless you can provide proof of a current vaccination, the animal has to get tested for rabies. This involves getting a sample of brain tissue. For pet owners that seems excessive, but for someone who has seen a rabies infection first-hand, there is no animal valuable enough to skip that test

There’s actually been around 20 known rabies survivors. It’s a lot more survivable than you think! Of course 20×1 is still only 20, so I’ll still avoid petting any raccoons

For a very particular type of man

after they bought the rights to some font.

Now That’s What I Call Capitalism

I’m already against the concept of “buying the rights” to anything, let alone buying the rights to something then raising the cost to license it. I would be burning fucking buildings down

I’m going to keep assuming they were nice and there’s nothing you can do about it

I just want a version of Reddit where the average user a) is human and b) knows how to read, or a version of Lemmy where the average user a) isn’t a Leninist and b) knows how to read

I have never had a comment mentioning Lemmy removed

6! Is it regional? Do you live in kansas?

Peace through bombing shit and killing a bunch of people

He’s a child rapist, and conservatives fucking LOVE child rapists

girlfriend called… DECLINE! busy whore!

busy with my METH

I’m tempted to say something famous like the Indy 500, but I think I would be a simple 5K

You are thinking about it way more than any white supremacist does

Writing Batman as “Anti-KKK” really loses track of the origins of the character. This guy basically IS the KKK

Imma need you to explain

But only after your coconspirators fail in a series of fuckups that would make for a perfect In Bruges style dark comedy

Will never not find it hilarious that Nedeljko Čabrinović threw a grenade, ate his cyanide, and jumped off a bridge, but the grenade didn’t kill anyone, the cyanide was expired, and the river was near dry so he only broke his legs and vomited

The email: “3pm on Friday works for me”

The summary: “Your coworker is emailing you to let you know that they will be available for the meeting at 3:00 PM on Friday, October 31st.”

The only valid use case for AI in my experience is helping with Linux, and even then you gotta make sure not to trust it too much

“This is the problem with you Amerikkkan imperialists, you only care about your own people and don’t give a shit about anyone outside your country”

~(a paraphrase of) an actual reply I got one time when I shared this sentiment