rasbora

That’s why my toilet has a seatbelt.

I’m a bit rusty on the rules but before becoming a saint, don’t you first have to die?

In that case I’m all for Trump being sainted.

Docking?

Ideally, yes. But in any case if it has a wire at least it’ll let you fish it out like a tampon.

Pro tip: if you buy a vibrator, don’t go for a cordless one.

Just saying.

Gimps were a thing long before Pulp Fiction, buddy.

…

… Or so I’ve been told!!

“Hey! Who didn’t flush?!”

My cat would do this, AND immediately stick his head in his bowl to start eating as soon as I began to empty the can’s contents into it, getting most of it stuck in his fur…

Just a little bug. Customer, who was sitting in the couch while ordering, clicked “Use my current location” instead of manually supplying their address; normally quite convenient but due to the latest (untested!) software update on the vendor’s website, FedEx got supplied with the actual gps coordinates instead of the nearest reachable address.

Recent studies found this chemical in all of the human samples that were examined, implying widespread contamination of people’s bodies. We are in deep water, folks.

Your foreskin has no bearing on your ability to wash your dick

I imagine the whole circumcision thing makes sense when you’re wandering the desert for years and there’s not a whole lot of water around, but other than that, yeah.