pixelmeow

If she’s been like this before she underwent all this, then she was already treating you very badly and recent events only made it worse. I’m not any kind of doctor so I won’t throw around diagnoses, but I recognize these behaviors from other people describing what they’ve experienced from people who were emotionally and physically abusing them. I’ve also experienced some myself from being emotionally abused and neglected.

This sounds like abuse to me. You are being abused and manipulated maliciously and therapy can help you get through this. I was diagnosed with cPTSD, complex post traumatic stress disorder, which is PTSD that happens after long term trauma (especially in childhood, which is mine). Years with an abusive partner could definitely affect you this way.

You deserve a life of happiness. The sooner you get into therapy, the sooner you can get to happiness, or at least away from abuse. You are not going to change her.

I went through menopause just a few years ago. It threw everything into an upheaval. Thank goodness I didn’t have a partner to be like this to, but therapy definitely helped. She is absolutely going through a lot, physically and mentally, and will be for years. I still have hot flash episodes for weeks at a time and it’s always different.

Your feelings are valid. You have every right to them. Just because someone is going through chemical changes in their body doesn’t mean they can abuse you like this. Telling you that you have no right to your feelings is emotional abuse and she has no right to do that to you. You both need help to get through this, whether separate or together, but this is all new and for you to be told to sit down and shut up is just heartbreaking. Everything happening to her is also happening to you because it seems to me that she’s taking it all out on you and yeah, that affects you.

You are not dumb or stupid. You are caring and sympathetic to what she’s going through, and she reacts to this with hostility and arrogance. I can’t imagine anyone is obligated to put up with that from anyone, for any reason. It might change in time, but not if she never acknowledges the validity of your feelings and your right to have them.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

Commenting from Lemmy.world where I saw it in my feed. Not sure if that’s helpful.

This is a great one: https://youtu.be/hLHi3wiSuWc?si=jIksepNQ6Wh-OZHe

Add It Up by the Violent Femmes

deleted by creator

I heard it called that back around 1985.

Yup. I’m copying some Audible links now and the ampersand isn’t encrypted and the query string starts after the ? instead of the last slash, so there are different ways of doing it. We couldn’t guess at that, though! :)

Everything after the final slash is data. This data is stored in key/value pairs, where the key is a variable name that is expected in the server’s code and the characters following the “=“ is the encrypted value. Each pair is separated by an encrypted “&”, or “&”. Many times this string of values begins with a “?”.

https://example.com/path/to/item/?id=568953&name=shjbxsdhjhcdf&xyz=djkkgcdtjn

So we can maybe guess what the values might be but only if we know what the keys mean, and then we’d have to give exactly the right data for each key (id, name, xyz). For all we know the most important piece of data in that string is xyz and it may be required, but we don’t know that so we strip the whole query string off and now have a useless URL.

Mostly, stripping off the query string should be fine if the path to the item you’re looking for is enough. Like the amazon example in the other comment. Other times, not so much.

Sorry for the novel, I can explain more if you’d like.

Bullet in a Bible, Green Day

I bit the bullet in 2017 and got a Stearns and Foster mattress set. I think it was less than $2k for the set, queen size, at City Mattress, and they had a “zero percent interest for a year” thing going on. It’s one of the best purchases I’ve ever made.

You’ll find them for much higher prices online, it was going to the store that got me the deal. Find a mattress store near you that carries that brand and you may find a deal, too. It’ll save your back and you’ll sleep so much better.