I’ve had good and bad experiences with mostly-male and mostly-female groups. I think it has less to do with the actual gender of the group, and more to do with: (a) the manner and extent to which group members are invested in performing their gender, (b1) whether the group embraces deviation from that performance, or (b2) whether one’s own performance of gender is similar enough to the group’s.

I’ve often described myself as “not very good at being a woman.” My weirdness and difficulty with hidden meanings has gotten me shunned by fellow women and usually bullied out of all-female groups, particularly when I was young. But as I discovered a few years ago after adopting a more active lifestyle, I get along fantastically with most women who play sports.

All-male groups were usually not much better. I still had to keep LARPing a persona, it’s just that the “cool girl” persona came easier to me. The main advantage was that mostly-male groups didn’t tend to say one thing while meaning the opposite. (For example, “stay as long as you like” actually means “you should probably go home now” and that is absolutely nonsensical to me.) But all-male groups never accepted me either, so the best case scenario meant being tolerated instead of shunned.

When it comes to work environments, it’s only been women who played the game of psychologically tormenting me until I have a breakdown and quit (although one of those was a woman boss in a mostly-male small office). So mostly-male groups have been somewhat better because I usually don’t have to waste as much brainspace on LARPing the correct persona. I still tended to be treated more as a tagalong or novelty, though, and gender isn’t a guarantee of future behavior (for example, one of my current coworkers is a man who politicks like a woman).

I always have a bowl of full-fat Greek yogurt with a spoonful of almond butter, a sprinkle of cinnamon, some collagen powder, and a little bit of maple syrup. Easy to scarf down in a hurry and keeps me satisfied for a few hours.

Elements being so big they take up most of the screen. It makes shopping much more difficult, because you have to scroll to see more and then forget what you just saw a moment ago.

Also lazy loading. Scroll and scroll and scroll, have to stop to do something else, come back and the page has reloaded and you have to start all over.

I didn’t fail, and I never heard the “everyone fails once” thing. But also I learned from a private driving school, where the test was given by my regular instructor and had exactly the same vibe as all our regular practice sessions did.

Totally understandable. When I lived in a small place, I only had room for one box, so I got the biggest thing that would fit and scooped as often as possible.

That reminds me, some cats are picky about litter too, just like some humans will only wipe their ass with certain brands of toilet paper. So it’s good to find a brand they like and stick with it, but I know how hard it is to experiment when there’s only room for one box.

When cats shit outside the box, they’re trying to communicate something. Unfortunately they don’t speak English and sometimes resort to speaking Catshittese.

Are there enough boxes? You should have n+1 litter boxes, where n is the number of cats in the home. Also they should be scooped two or three times a day (before work, after work, and bedtime is a good routine). The litter should be about 3”/8cm deep: they need enough to bury their piss and shit, but too deep feels unsteady beneath their feet.

Is she a really big cat? She might want a bigger box. I once had a big fuckoff tabby who needed jumbo boxes with extra-high sides.

Maybe she’s having digestive pains. Does her shit look normal? If not, put the misplaced turd in a zipper baggy and have your vet check it out.

It could also be an emotional issue, like loneliness or anxiety or dominance, but make sure the litter boxes and digestive health are all in order before deciding that’s what’s up.

Light cardio exercise like a going for a brisk walk, pacing at home, tidying up, etc. It doesn’t have to be enough to sweat, just enough to get the blood pumping faster.