Well you lot are just as bad. What’s with Guten Tag? Good Day? Is it still the 1800s in Germany? We stopped using archaic language centuries ago.

Exactly. So many people just don’t understand it. Nobody actually wants to know how your day’s going, it’s just a fancy “hello”. So I reply “hello” and have a little smile to myself while their face shows they’re processing the non-sequitur.

Maybe it’d be a good idea to use a word other than death, which is clearly being misinterpreted to mean killing people. “Dissolution of [x]” obviously isn’t as snappy, but it’s an improvement at least in terms of accuracy of intent.

I don’t recommend it. I tried increasing my electrolytic capacity once and found some little pills that seemed ideal. I had to eat a lot of them because they were only labelled “microfood” or something like that.

The hospital staff were all very unprofessional. They all giggled when they discharged me.

OK, so what’s the plan for bringing death to the USA without killing a single American?

No that was a song by David Jowie.

Mutt

Statistician: 1+1=sqrt(2)

“Oh, thanks! What I’d like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled ‘ketchup’”.

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn’t make any difference to them and it’d be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: “The meeting is at 1500 EDT”. “Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I’ll be an hour late. Are you sure it’s 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?” “Yes, definitely 1500 EDT”. /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

There’s also the Escher picture of a (smoking) pipe, captioned “Ceci n’est pas une pipe”.