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Joined 4 months ago
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Cake day: July 18th, 2024

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  • That sounds reasonable. Why would I have an issue with this person being late? I wouldn’t. It’s a great example of having a reason.

    But I’m not psychic, nor am I a doctor of any kind, so if you expect me to make allowances without telling me what allowances you need then unfortunately you’re out of luck.

    If you expect me to make allowances for people incase they’re ND then also you’re out of luck. I’m going to ask you why you’re late, I’m going to react to what you told me - anything you haven’t told me is unknown.

    That some people want to paint me as unreasonable because I want people to be on time, unless they have a good reason not to be, is naive and immature.


  • I think you’re wrong.

    I specifically gave an example of when I would listen to reason.

    Being late because you can’t be fucked to get out of bed is a laziness problem, and someone trying to make it my problem (by being late) is inconsiderate at best. Not interested.

    Being late because of an event outside of your ability to predict or control is reasonable.

    If you can’t tell the difference then, again, that’s your problem and you’re right I don’t want to work with or be friends with you.


  • I think there’s a nuance here that’s difficult for me to express. Explanations aren’t wrong - not having a good reason to break the rules is wrong. The nuance is: what makes a good reason?

    Your situation isn’t a contradiction or counter to what I said. You have a different perception of persistent. If they were late for school every day because the bus never ran then you would presumably tell them to get the earlier bus so that they didn’t miss an hour of school every day? Or if that was impossible you would discuss it an agree different expectations. This alters the definition of “late”. You wouldn’t simply accept that they are late every day - that would be irresponsible and make you a poor teacher.


  • That’s how friendship works and I’m fine with it. Not everyone has to be friends.

    If you work for me though, you work on the principle that you will always do your best effort to turn up on time - and if you can’t even manage that then I’m not interested in you being part of my team and so we’ll be parting ways. This kind of thing tends to be surfaced during the interview stage and if it didn’t it’d surface in the first few months and so one of us would choose to terminate the contract. That’s also fine; you don’t have to like the people you work with and you don’t have to work with people you don’t like.

    I see no problems with the fact that our values are different.





  • That’s a common reply of children. Usually they learn to not reply like that.

    It’s interesting that in this thread people are mostly assuming the person saying that’s “an excuse” is being unreasonable, just because the person posting is ND.

    If the OP is persistently late for work and they often give shit “excuses” like “the bus was late” then I would react similarly to what the OP described. It’s an excuse, not a reason, because you can solve it but have chosen not to: for instance you could leave earlier to ensure that even if the bus is late, you’re still on time.

    I never get the train that gets me somewhere “on time” I always get the train that gets me there early, because I find it important enough to be punctual that I don’t make excuses.