I’m only alive because successfully killing myself is hard. Bernadette, she/her, smash bros addict, dog person, work addict, ruined beyond repair, stuck in the past. I will defend Amazon and Nintendo like they’re the parents I never had. They did, and will do, nothing wrong, ever.

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Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: November 11th, 2024

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  • Unrelated rant don’t read this. I used to wish someone shot up my school, it would have made all of the staff (yes, every last one) look stupid for overlooking all the actually human students and searching me like I was guaranteed to be a shooter. Seriously, they’d open my laptop and remove the battery to ensure there’s no weapon hidden in it, open my 3DS and remove the cartridge and stylus, take the case off my phone, look inside my hat or unfold my beanie, run a metal detector all over me for like 10 minutes, then run it on my devices and whatever accessories I wore, then take each individual item out my bag and run a metal detector over it.

    Seriously, every day I’d be held up for at least 20 minutes because security needs to search my notebooks and pencil case (the latter had a metal zipper which they had to triple check so I just gave up on Having My Pens In A Case) and then empty my wallet and search all over it. As if I magically put a gun in my cardholder wallet that had only, you guessed it, cards. Because a stupid puzzle piece made me a terrorist. Right.

    When I had less things with me, that was scary because of that stupid fucking puzzle piece. I stopped eating lunch at school because I was tired of having my lunch box searched by ten separate people every day. But of course that stupid puzzle piece is why I don’t eat at school anymore. I used to play smash 3DS with others but I stopped bringing my 3DS, now I sit alone, and that’s scary, must be that stupid ass puzzle piece that made me a loner, and of course The Quiet Kid is Always The Shooter! Ugh.

    So I used to envy those who were actually involved in a shooting, as fucked up as that is.




  • Schools where kids are treated like the picture in this post and educated with YouTube videos and free printouts. Having a problem with anything gets the kids treated like this picture, and they’re gaslit into believing their feelings are non-issues that don’t matter.

    The kids will deteriorate into zombies who don’t shower, because if they don’t like being dirty then they just need to get over it. They won’t wipe their ass anymore because wanting to wipe is just a spoiled attitude hissy fit tantrum and not wasting resources on non-issues is being good.

    Everything other than being a zombie robot that does exactly what it’s told immediately results in being this picture. Everything they remotely feel positive towards is used as a “reinforcer”, literally a bribe, or is used to emotionally abuse them, which always results in them losing interest in whatever the thing is.

    All schoolwork really is watching a YouTube video, answering questions and writing a summary of the video. Some subjects will be reading a book or passage, then answering questions and writing a summary.

    Gym is a reward if the whole 12-person class is good which never happens because suddenly a Star Wars shirt is inappropriate to wear and everyone is punished because you specifically decided to wear an inappropriate shirt with a weapon on it. Everyone else is told to “thank their friend” and are conditioned into hating you for ruining everything. So gym class becomes health class where you watch a YouTube video on health, answer questions and write a summary. In between subjects, you read a book. You’re not allowed to talk to anyone or do anything other than read. If you’re on a page for longer than usual, you’ll end up like the picture above because you’re throwing a fit because you don’t like reading.

    But why does the kid have physical coordination issues, trouble lifting anything over 10 pounds, zero healthy hygiene habits, and no hobbies or interests? Why would the kid never say anything if they need help or if something or someone is hurting them? Why does the kid never look at anyone’s face? Why can’t the kid concentrate on anything, even things they used to enjoy?

    Because autism. And the ABA school is helping, so no you can’t go to another school. You’re only going to have violent meltdowns at worst and stare into space at best in a regular school where no one gets manhandled for holding in a sneeze. You only don’t like school because it isn’t playing video games all day, so you just need to get over it, spoiled.

    I’ll be permanently mentally and physically stunted for the rest of my life, and that stupid puzzle piece will be blamed on it, while credited for every positive thing I ever accomplish. Fuck that puzzle piece. It’s not even a real disorder, it’s just an excuse to neglect and abuse a kid instead of putting effort into knowing them.



  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksto196@lemmy.blahaj.zonerule
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    12 days ago

    That’s how it is in ABA schools today, and the trauma from literally being abused is blamed on aUtIsM, and the abused kids are kept there because it’s supposed to “help” when it’s literally causing issues the kid never had before they were put in there. Then the kid ages out at 21 and moves into a group home connected to the same facility, instead of living an actual life. They could have had jobs, real friends, spouses, children, degrees, businesses, and lives, but now they wait to die in a cruel ‘Truman Show’ like reality where they’re gaslit into believing they’re living the best life possible. Yeah, a life where the best thing you’ve ever experienced, a once-in-a-lifetime dream come true, was eating a hot pocket.

    Yeah I wonder why a seven year old who was shoved to the floor and sat on for looking at a clock was suicidal, must be the autism.






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    13 days ago

    I got my first android (Samsung Galaxy S3) in 2014, before I had a LG Rumor Touch. Both used micro USB.

    I was turned off from Apple anything after having an iPod as a gift and discreetly hating it. I was further turned off when I saw that an iPad is just an elongated iPod Touch rather than a Microsoft Surface which is literally a PC.


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    13 days ago

    You’re not onto anything so there’s no need to “hold on”. Several people did the same thing without some stupid disorder being The Reason Why.

    I pirated applications and games at 9 because remotely breathing in my family’s presence was the equivalent of screaming fire in a crowded theater. Why would I ask them anything when I can ask Google? Google won’t hit me, tie me to a chair, lock me in a basement, scream at me, spit on me, or take all my possessions indefinitely. Google also won’t tell professional child abusers what I searched so that can be used to emotionally abuse me more.

    Why would I ask people who would scream at me for asking for a 64¢ candy bar, about a $200 application? Why would I tell them about something illegal? That’s just asking for drama. But sure, some stupid ass puzzle piece Made Me So Smart and that’s why I pirated gamemaker and fl studio. The same puzzle piece that made me so (r word) and unfit for society that I needed to be locked away in an institution that dumbed me down into a dead weight.

    Also using a computer is as easy as playing a video game. The directions and definitions are straightforward. Some stupid puzzle piece didn’t made a kid know how to do something, the kid taught themselves by reading. Which the people pointing to some stupid puzzle piece can do as well, instead of reducing a human being to some stupid ass puzzle piece. Literally dehumanizing but I’m ready to be the problem, as a human asking to be treated as a human. Downvotes mean nothing.


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    13 days ago

    My only apple device was an iPod and it was the most cumbersome thing ever. Trying to put music on it on my own laptop was impossible as iTunes wouldn’t install. So I’d need to use someone else’s computer which would default to synchronizing their library with my device. So all my loser video game soundtracks will be on someone else’s device or their american sex music will be on mine. And those 33 pin or whatever Proprietary Cables broke if you breathed on it. Adding music was the closest thing to pulling teeth without actually pulling teeth.

    Getting an Android phone instead of an iPhone was literally like breaking free. I can manage my own files directly on the device. I can download apps from anywhere. I can download music without proprietary software and expensive fragile cables. Oh, right, and I can charge it with the same cable my old brick phone used, the one that came with my portable charger, and one that powered my USB fan. A Standard Cable. Ffs.