I like the way you phrase “asymptomatically approaching normal” 👍. I think i know the feeling, almost like you have to iterate a brand new personality to interact with the world. Previous normal is just kind of shattered into fragments that inform the new normal, but there’s a real uncomfortable space in between.
I have a random fun fact about beelzebub…
There’s some dispute, but Baal zebub seems to have been a derogatory term used by ancient israelites against the philistine deity, Ba’al (lord), calling him baal zebub, or the lord of flies.
Occult circles have demonized the figure over time, but yea. Ancient racists who thought of the philistines as pests, and blatantly insulted their religion by renaming their lord to ‘lord of the flies’.