Contrary to popular belief, it appears hips actually do lie. This changes everything.

The cochlea and semicircular canals are absolutely wild. It’s all just squirting fluid over a patch of tiny grass, and boom, that’s your sense of hearing and balance. One of the coolest bits of anatomy we’ve got.

d1

DM: Not that one, Job: I have a special d20 just for you!

If that’s not an instance yet, it needs to be.

There’s still Templar and Dragon!

All you need to do now is inhale a bee and trash your apartment with the superpowers it gives you.

What did it for me was the bugs. Those little fruit-fly fuckers… they love sugar, and those taps are a concentrated source. Until someone turns it on, and they get blasted off the tube and stuck onto the sticky inside surface of the cap, where they die and continue to get blasted with concentrate, so there’s this membrane of soda residue, dead fruit flies, and mold.

…infact the taste you’re referencing might legit be rotting bugs if it has a kind of rancid protein flavor.

I wonder how many of those fruit flies get blasted straight into people’s drink vs onto the edge of the cap, where they’re just sucked up through a straw and drank by a customer who’s none the wiser.

Nom nom.

Some semi-matte olive paint and that mofo could have a Warthog.

Worked at a fast food place ages ago, and I remember cleaning the caps of each fountain of the top image: they were pretty horrific. Another poster mentioned mold… they’re not exaggerating. They were probably the second-nastiest surface in the restaurant, second only to the floor of the bathrooms.

Now, I’m under no illusion that the Cloa-Cola dispenser is actually sanitary, but it’s gotta be better than the other model.

Can’t argue with the results.

mystical powers

LSD.

Otherwise, sounds plausible.

Did you hit her with “Oh I’m sorry, I’m sorry - I thought this was America!”

Anovaginal fistulas are a thing. 🤷‍♀️

…what even is that, technically speaking? Lasagna? Calzone maybe?

Just hang their drink on the IV pole, spike it with a line, and put the other end in their mouth!

I use Amazon as a search engine to narrow down to a few options for a product, then go to those manufacturers’ websites and order directly from them. Been a while since I’ve ordered directly from Amazon.

“I require privacy not to conceal some malice in my own actions; but to protect against the malice of those seeking to abuse that authority.”

“As you bend over to pick up the fork, you slip a vertebral disc. Your health is reduced to 30%, and will stay capped there for the following three days.”

DnD in your 30s.

I see religious shit randomly littering the hospital I work at. People put fliers in waiting areas or on window sills. Couple whole-ass bibles. Lately it’s been the little plastic jesus emoji looking toys.

I put all of them in the trash.

We have a fucking chaplain, if our patients want to see that shit they can talk to him. Hitting people with religious nonsense when they’re at their lowest is predatory and should be illegal.

Um, technically no one died, your Honor.