I read “in all furness” and I was like “it’s a furnace, Your Furness“

For me it’s the walls that get me down, as soon as I’m on my phone in the park I’m fine. And I am stupidly chatty in stores, no better place to be socially awkward because even if you go back it’s tabula rasa

Boo I only see top halves

…it’s gonna fill me

Tfw you realise every single one of your gfs, bffs, family members are ND

I feel like this is a shitpost because they’re all weird or anachronistic in some way

Ah this is why the fingers on my chest piercing hand look younger

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Love it when a man holds my stomach

Why is American butter in a stick rather than a block?

I understand the mass differential is ¼ lb vs ¼ kg, but why the shape?

height restrictions

I don’t think that’s going to help…

Tracking Pokémons not pokes

Some places will slap like a 1.4 in a bun and act like their job here is done, and you’re like wha

Whatever makes you feel big and strong!

making shit up sparkle ✨

Verily

Point behind you and shout “Bear!” and then hide under your dress

So you can double clit

and we could go to a spa (just as friends) and we could get all sweaty in the gym (just for exercise) and go for a massage together (just for company) and book a room (just for convenience) and relax in the private hot tub (just for fun) and share a room (just for economics) and share a bed (just to keep warm) and cuddle up (just for comfort) and stay there forever

Can we just call it all football!?

• Ruggers Football
• Assoccers Football
• Gridders Football
• Basketters Netball
• Softy Rounders Ball
• Crickers Baseman’s Ball

And let’s have mixed teams