Me but with sleep 😬

Nice

But most of the possibilities when you do ask suck

No lol

Unfortunately, the entire thing is plagued by politicians, so it is falling apart.

Then the structure of your government is trash.

Would you like to provide those receipts?

inside egg was good but outside is best

Nah

If you are reading this then you are having a poo poo!

Not necessarily. I could be crying.

F

Me too. Also, AC + fan make constant continuous noise, but they’re basically required for me to even begin to feel comfortable. I’ve mostly gotten used to the noise, but when I’m already overloaded, it’s not a nice thing.

Coke/Cola -> Tea/infusion

Wut

Nah but seriously, they’re not interchangeable. A Coke replacement would be another cola.

• Reddit/insert enshittified service here: data stored by corporation

• Fediverse: data stored by the community itself

• Threadiverse: above, but presented like Reddit threads.

• Why it’s important: takes power back from FAANG and gives it to the people; allows you to store your social media with people you trust, including just yourself; can be studied or forked by users

I know I’ve left out a lot of details, but that’s why it’s a simplification 😄.

It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.

Nothing has changed, and it never will, as it concerns poor and “therefore” “deserving” people. Americans’ talk is cheap.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

Agreed. So when you go to a restaurant and you have a maximum amount you can spend, divide the amount of money you have by (100% + local sales tax), then divide by (100% + the menu price), and subtract any surcharges added by the restaurant (assume $5.00 if you cannot look it up), often masquerading as a tip. I know it’s a lot of math, but you have a computer in your pocket. You’ll manage.

In my view, the US is a fractal scam. At every level, everything is an attempt to extract money from ill-informed “suckers”, from the running of the government, to the prices of supermarket groceries, to the tipping culture at restaurants, to even finding a place to put your car [1]. Every single thing is someone’s grift. In order to function in America, you need to be willing to be suckered to some extent. There’s no way around it. Unfairness is baked into every transaction, and increasingly more social interactions.

Everything in America is ridiculously unfair. We wear this on our sleeves, and for many Americans this fact defines their personality. Unfortunately, you will have to deal with it in the short term at least.

Now if you would like to be the one to lead the charge against the tipping culture and the foisting of responsibility for servers’ compensation onto the customer, then be my guest. Refuse to tip and make a big scene about it. Make plans for how to take the inertia of your big struggle and turn it into a mass movement. I would thrilled to join you. However, I somehow doubt that you’re ready to go that far; none of the customers who stiffed me ever went on to start anti-tipping movements.

So will AITA if I don’t tip?

Yes. You are expected by all members of the public here to tip. That is our culture, something we’re proud of for some reason, and our expectation. For some servers, tips are the primary source of income at work.

Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

No, it is the responsibility of the employer. However, when no employer takes their responsibility and you sit yourself down at a restaurant, the logical conclusion is that either you pay that part of the server’s wages, or they get stiffed. You know that this is the conclusion. (Or if not, now you do.)

If you want to participate in our unique restaurant scam, you gotta accept that you’re going to get suckered into paying the server’s wages. Otherwise, don’t go to restaurants. When you go to a restaurant, you waste the employees’ finite time on this planet doing tedious, physically and mentally demanding bullshit that no sane person would choose to engage with, if not faced with the threats of homelessness and starvation. [2] At least make it worth their while.

Sorry if I come off as having a chip on my shoulder, but that’s only because I totally do. So many customers used to concern-troll me as a pizza delivery person and give me shit like “sorry, couldn’t afford to tip, they should really pay you more.” Yeah, they should, but you absolutely could have tipped; all you had to do was order one less topping. I’d love to see some actual solidarity with food service employees, but that would require challenging deep-rooted assumptions about our culture and we’re too shit-for-brains to do that. Americans are so compassionate and empathetic until the moment they actually have to lift a finger.

So when someone brings up “unfairness” or “it’s X’s responsibility to pay the workers” in response to tipping, I just kinda die a little inside from all the times those sentiments have been used against me and my colleagues.

[1] And don’t even get me started on the process of buying a car, or how the public was scammed into accepting a car-centric infrastructure.

[2] This is really a special case of the logic behind the antiwork movement: nobody actually wants to go to work. We only go to work under the threats of starvation and homelessness imposed by capitalism.

Just because someone is starving doesn’t mean that they’ll eat absolutely anything, nor should they be expected to.

That being said…bread with butter isn’t that nutritious. You might want to start trying new foods to round out your diet. I for one am a lot more likely to like a new food if it isn’t forced upon me, more so if I make it myself.

Well…it is a bit like us-vs-them. I’m all for modifying my behavior to make people comfortable around me, I’m willing to change, but it often feels like (1) nothing is ever enough, and (2) they’re often unwilling to make any similar changes to accommodate us. And I do think that we need to organize based on our shared experience as neurodiverse people to defend ourselves from the weird expectations that NT people often expect from us.

That being said, NT people are not a monolith, and obviously there are lots of cool and reasonable NT people. But there are some things that they just can’t intuitively understand because they’re not in our skins. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with informing them of that, just as there’s nothing wrong with NT people informing us about things we might be unable to intuitively understand.