So would you say that a rotisserie slapping technique would optimal in this scenario?

I say this with the assumption that you are not a troll:

I personally think it’s great that you are childless because your shit attitude toward even the slightest push back illustrates your lack of patience and demonstrates how much of a shit parent you would be. If you can’t handle this, you can’t handle raising a child. That push back is orders of magnitude less than even a healthy three year old would give and that is so much less than a preteen/teenager. So with all dude respect (none), you fuck off.