Maybe offer to shout them a nice dinner once a month. I know it involves money but it’s more of a gift than paying their bills.

I liked using KanBoard. Its simple and runs well inside a docker container.

Lol. “No one is playing our games, better raise prices”. Genius.

I’ve taken up gardening and go out to water the plants each morning. I try to make that my mindfulness/relaxation time. Definitely helpful.

This is interesting. Thinking on it I do like the feel of a new singlet, before it’s worn in and is still tight. Makes me feel more balanced and in control.

Just ordered a compression singlet and I’ll give it a go. Thanks for the recommendation 🙂

What makes you think that the weighted blanket will be helpful? I’ve heard that people like them, but haven’t really looked into them.

In my reading I came across some info about sleeping problems and one in particular talked about how some ASD people can feel like they are floating on their bed and I remembered feeling that way as a kid. I’ve also never been able to sleep with just a light bed sheet over me. I like the blankets at hospital that are cool but have a bit of weight to them. And just a bunch of other dots I’m starting connect.

What is the smiling mind app and why do you like it?

Its a free mindfulness/guided meditation app from an Aussie non-profit mental health organization. My psych recommended it, saying that practicing it each day can help reduce stress and anxiety. I like it because each exercise is only 2-6 minutes long and I’ve had difficulty maintaining focus with longer guided meditation exercises.

I also don’t have to worry about people interrupting me to chime in with something while I’m speaking. That always throws me off my thought process and it leaves me kind of scrambling for a response. Which almost always defaults to a short, one or two word answer.

This drives me nuts! I often completely lose the train of thought and go blank. I also have very little patience for frustration and interrupting me while I’m spending the effort trying to articulate thoughts is a good way to piss me off.

In my late teens/early 20s, long before I was diagnosed, I tried to do some work on improving social skills and read books by former FBI/CIA people on body language and interview techniques (lots of info on interpreting peoples actions, words and motives), some self-help books (total crap and not helpful) and social dynamics. The body language and interview techniques were helpful for navigating some of the adult situations I hadn’t dealt with before (job interviews, meetings with figures of authority that can be stressful).

Heres two quick youtube videos that explain ASD masking better than I could.

Autistic Masking In 3 Minutes - Autistic Masking In A Nutshell

The Problem with Masking ADHD and Autism (burnout, etc.)

I’ve always been a lurker online. I’ve only just committed to trying to involve myself in the ASD community recently. But talking online doesn’t require the effort of masking in person because there’s not body language to interpret and mimic, speech patterns or accents that have to be changed and I can take as much time as I need to form and edit a reply. Plus if I feel the need to, I don’t have to respond to someone online or I can kill the account and start with a fresh one. Much less pressure.

I’m sure it’s quite common for NT people to vary their personality to suit the occasion too but ASD masking is more than just slight personality changes and requires huge effort and energy to sustain.

I didn’t overcome masking. I did really well juggling masks in early high school but it requires more and more effort as you get older while constantly grinding you down, which limits your ability to juggle masks at which point things start to collapse and you burnout. I ended up in hospital then moved out to a remote bushland location to become a hermit.

Go and see a healthcare professional if you are struggling. Diving in and taking your mental health seriously is really the only thing that will start you on the path to recovery.

Bit late to the party here, but I took it to refer to ASD masking. Back in high school I had heaps of different masks/personalities and they could clash if people from different cliques got together.

Juggling masks leads to big time ASD burnout.

In the moment I have but afterwards when thinking about it, it’s normally more complicated.

Part of it is resentment (/embarrassment/shame) at needing help at all and I think this is something everyone feels at some point, even NTs. The feeling of being made to feel helpless is something no one likes.

Another part is frustration when someone thinks they are helping but are more getting in the way/creating more work. I think thats down to poor communication and its not surprising ASD people have problems around that.

I hadn’t heard of ABA before but it looks like it’s behaviour mod. with a different name. Is this correct?

I’ve tried behaviour mod a couples of times and it never helped (I’m ASD 1). I found EMDR much better for working through some issues but for everything else I’m just muddling through with my psych.

I found that having a notebook on hand to write down thoughts and musings about areas I felt I was lacking in regards to social skills and life skills useful. This helped me to clarify and narrow down some of the skills I wanted/needed to work on most and I brought this up with my psych and they are helping me work on those skills.

Not everyone can see a psych but if you can identify the skill areas you feel are lacking, I’m sure someone could point you in the right direction.

Sorry if I’m rambling. I do tend to.

Extremely well said 👍

I realized I was similarly getting manipulated and teased in my late teens. Looking back, I think alot of it was down to me missing/misinterpreting social signals and trying to fit in. I was usually aware of what was going on but didn’t know how to extricate myself in a way that wouldn’t bring further ridicule.

Once I became aware of the pattern, I stopped talking to and approaching people. I keep to myself and generally approach social situations from a respectful but hostile and mistrustful position until proven otherwise. I’m trying to break this habit but its difficult after living it for so long.

The Broken Earth series has a race that moves through the earth in a similar manner.

Had a mental health crisis and ended up in the hospital mental health ward. Got my diagnosis while I was in there.

I started getting into gardening and trying to understand what being autistic means for me. Both good for the mental health and I dropped some weight 👍

Cheers. I probably should check out the chat room. I’ve always tended to be a lurker but am trying to make more of an effort.

Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll definitely check out “Crucial Conversations”. That sounds like it could be helpful.

I’ve read some of “How to win Friends and Influence People” at the library but none of it made sense to me. It all just seemed so bizarre and it’s understanding that sort of bizarre behavior I’m trying to do. So far I’ve dismissed a lot of NT behavior by thinking of it as base, instinctual behavior - like animals with mating dances and songs - and that has been fitting for the most part but is probably dismissive/reductive and I feel I should do more to understand. I’ve touched on philosophy but so much of that is concerned with religion or the questioning of some sort of ‘divine’ influence which is not helpful at all.

I hope your daughter finds the book helpful. I found it in the “Helpful Resources” section on the sidebar. Might be worth checking out if you haven’t already.

This has been my experience too. Looking back, I did pretty well masking and managing burnout in highschool but when I got a job and had to deal with customers is when I started to really burnout and that was how I ended up in the mental health ward and learnt I have Aspergers. I have very little energy for masking these days.

I ended up moving out into the bush and becoming a hermit, isolating myself. I was pretty damaged at the time but I’m trying to make an effort to manage things better now. Just need to find the resources to do it.