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Cake day: May 1st, 2026

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  • Not really sure if it’s been posted yet, but for me that’s GTA Online. I can’t pretend it was ever masterpiece material, but it was compelling enough for me to sink over 4000 hours into (over 12 years). It’s remarkable how much GTA has become a parody of itself. GTA 5 had materialism and insane money spending as some of its themes, something it parodied hard throughout the story. Hell, shark cards in GTA Online seemed to follow this a bit.

    And where does GTA Online sit nowadays? Normal boring vehicles costing millions, a subscription service to get quality of life content, mediocre mission design wasting a lot of your time, every update feels more disconnected from the last, and most insulting of all. The shark cards from 2013 cost the same, but have only had a 25% increase in ingame cash. A 2014 update released a LaFerrari inspired supercar costing 500k, a 2026 update released a BMW 5 Series inspired sedan costing 1.4 million. Police cars were added, but can easily cost over 4 million each, and then they still have the audacity to remove all resale value from them. Final nail for me, the last big update nerfed payouts on a lot of big heists.

    I haven’t touched it in 7 months, and from what I’m seeing online, I’m not missing much.