Pssh, you believe in the moon?

Woo I watermelons!

Laughs in Teams.

On the internet, nobody suspects you’re a Pom.

It’s the 11th here, so not the whole world.

My card’s PIN is just the date when the bank reset it for me… 20 years ago.

I changed banks and I set my new card to the same PIN.

It’s sentimental at this point.

Yeah I always try to bring up our award to shut down the “but the well tipped waiters will lose money if you mandate a minimum wage” argument.

As though a minimum wage has to stay $7.

Our waitstaff get $35/hr on weekends and somehow we still have enough small cafes to bankrupt Starbucks.

$23 is the national no award minimum, but the restaurant award mandates $29 for even a level 1 casual.

Yeah we stopped being on Arizona time in the 70s.

24 years old.

Even its “rerelease” was 10 years ago tomorrow.

Yeah 3 days before? I only found out it was DST this weekend just gone because I happened to still be up.

Me: man it’s almost 2am, I should go to bed
DST: lol 3am

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Our weird shit on a map

Short for swimming costume.

“very good sir, I shall remind you in 9 minutes”

Coming out of the lake and I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta get out because I wanna walk

Classic IT.

That reference is going straight to the pool room.

Sam and Max? That’s ruined my day.

They’re called mondegreens.