And the land of the free(not you) and the home of the brave(Until we killed them all off with blankets full of smallpox)

What are your doing step facebook?

You wake alone in a room, its dark, but familiar. Its your bedroom. You grasp at your chest, breathing a sigh of relief. But then the light switches on, making you jump. Youre naked on the bed, your arms and legs tied to the four corners of your bed. And next to the light switch with a devilish grin, Mark Zuckerberg. You look at him looking at you, his grin making your asshole pucker. You only have one question on your mind right now, so you ask him already knowing the answer, “dude, how did my dick get hard and wet before I woke up???” But he doesnt answer, just pulls out a monogramed Meta quest headset and starts taking pictures, but the headset doesnt make any sounds. Its just Mark making the “click” sound with his mouth like a fucking psycho.

With nothing to lose, you start posing. Duck face, arched back(as much as you can), shocked pikachu face, everything you can imagine. Anything, to fulfil this nutjobs desire so he leaves. And he does. He takes off the helmet, thanks you for your time, and walks out. “You forgot to untie me!” you shout, but he doesnt answer. Then a man walks in wearing a PVC gimp suit. The only holes visible, in the crotch front and back. And the mouth, oh my god, its a horror show. Just the thin dumb fuck lips of someone who is obviously just Mark Zuckerberg in a gimpsuit. “Why are you dressed like that, Mark?” you ask, feeling vulnerable. “Im not Mark.” he says, inching towards you. His tongue running around those thin horrid looking lips. “What are you doing, Mark?” you ask, watching his subtle but obvious approach. “nothing.” he says, shrugging his shoulders. Then he suddenly drops to his knees. You cant see him anymore at the side of the bed. “What the fuck are you doing, Mark?” you say. But he says nothing, instead he starts making the Jaws theme and running his PVC gloved hand at the edge of the bed like a fin. “Duuun dun duuun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun BOM BOM” he says , getting closer to your junk. “dun dun dun dun dun dun doo dedoo doo dedoo dede doo dede doo dededoo!” he jumps up from the side of the bed, spread eagled like a weird and kinky Sugar glider, his mouth wide, his eyes wider, and just as he lands… you wake up screaming. Phew, it was all a dream. All just a dream… You got to your computer to check your facebook account and see your pictures. Your naked pictures, and then feel PCV covered fingers rubbing your shoulders. “I think they turned out rather well…”… You wake up screaming again, this time in a mental hospital because, lets be honest, if this actually happened, who the fuck wouldnt lol.

Im sure thats got nothing to do with the fact that reddit is all bots and shills, and Limmy is actually real human people sick of all the bots and shills…

God damn, I wish I was gay.

I dont know that its “bad news” for him, considering how creepy this conversation looks to the rest of us lol.

Really? What happens if you says cunt? Or assbandit? Or Donald?