Flat cables can be conformant and they still have twisted pairs. Cables just have to meet the physical properties set by the standard.

Have you ever taken the coast starlight or the Cascade trains? Last time I took the former it arrived 14 hours late.

Have you tried plugging it in first? Machine kneading is usually faster than hand kneading.

The CSB doesn’t regulate and it can’t issue fines. They also don’t show up unless you’ve already had an incident. When they do show up, it’s simply to document and investigate the root causes, so they can issue recommendations to one of the regulatory agencies that actually enforces things. You need to have really fucked up for an agency with literally 40 staff overseeing one of the largest industrial economies in the world to notice you.