Fair. I was just shocked by it, and with the divorce going on and the infidelity of my dad and the social trauma my mother was willing to inflict on us, the undereating and the overexercising leading to the anoerexia… my entire value system was in a state of flux. I did not know what anything was worth anymore. Hell it was physically exhausting to smile. I was not in a stable mental state, and the last thing I needed was positive attention from women at the time.