I’m old enough that I graduated high school before social media became a thing. My high school friends and I kept in touch via landline phone and ICQ. ICQ died and people moved so I have no way to find a lot of them again, especially the ones whose names are so generic I can’t find them on social media.

I also have some friends I lost contact with because they decided to ghost me after I experienced a major trauma. We were young and I’m sure they didn’t know what to say, were going through their own stuff, etc etc, but it was still very hurtful that they just vanished on me and never bothered to reach out even though they knew what had happened. It’s been years and I’m not angry at them anymore but I have zero interest in being friends with them.

Part of the reason – and part of the reason that I don’t try harder to find people I was friends with when I was younger – is that I genuinely feel like I’m a different person now than I was before some of that stuff happened, both because I experienced a really life-altering traumatic thing and because I just got older. The person who was friends with those people doesn’t even exist anymore. I’d basically have to start those relationships over from scratch. I’m curious how they’re doing and I hope they’re well but I don’t really want to reconnect.