Image: A person writing on a large chalkboard the size of a large wall covered with mathematical formulas and notes. The caption reads, “My autistic mind trying to figure out if she’s into me, she is indifferent or she absolutely hates me.”
Ok, but seriously…I can’t tell when girls are flirting with me. And sometimes, girls act like I’m flirting with them when I am not in any way whatsoever. What is the process NTs use to add meaning to social interactions?! Maybe we can figure this out logically.
This is also worth understanding in case someone asks you out. If they invite you to some undesirable activity (e.g. a sport you are not interested in) with just the two of you, then declining will be taken as a more general lack of romantic interest. (Disclaimer: asking you to an activity alone is not 100% sign of romantic interest).
This will often be followed by a significant change in behavior towards you (e.g. less joking / flirting). This is not them being angry or trying to get back at you. They are trying to respect your lack of romantic interest, and possibly handling their own emotions of rejection, disappointment, and such. If you do lack romantic interest, this is mostly unavoidable; people will always be sad when the person they like doesn’t like them back.
If you do have romantic interest, then try to suggest alternative activities and be extremely blunt that you do want to date them. Make sure you have a concrete day you will do something together, even if you don’t figure out exactly what it is. If you can’t even settle on a day, set a date on when you’ll talk next about a date.