I was just watching a youtube on Jungian personas and masks. The problem, Jung said, is that people put on masks to gain love and acceptance but hide their true authentic selves. Over time, they forget who they really are and become their mask.
The video was about how to remove the mask and discover your true self, but all I kept thinking was “love and acceptance? just for putting on a mask? how can I learn this skill?”
My experience is obviously perspective to the US but I hear it’s different in other places. Relationships could be less streamlined for accommodating men who work 12 hour shifts and just never get to be around. There’s a little bit of both social pressure here to get into a relationship fast and also a stigma against being single or having emotional connections with other men. I get the idea from media and anecdotes from my elders that deeper male friendships were less more common before I was born. But given that older people here are more homophobic I don’t entirely understand how they could gave.
Are men not forming friendships even after they marry either? No couple’s nights bowling?
And yeah how fucked is it that women have to be in the role to give us meaning? I don’t like that for them because that’s a messed up expectation to have but I mostly don’t like that I supposedly don’t have meaning without a woman in my life. If I do ever date again, I want it to happen because someone enjoyed my company and not because I needed them in order to feel like I was worthy of love.
I’m sorry you felt pressured to be in a relationship. I hope you guys can find a spark that at least makes each other’s company feel worth the effort. Søren Kierkegaard says it’s a worthy way of living to be vulnerable and opt in to the inevitability of loss
Any time, chief 🙂 I hope you find the answers you’re looking for