Addiction takes many forms, and socializing is certainly one way to do it.

I think most people do like a little socializing, a little company, a little connection, a little belonging. I find what I want more than anything is true friendship, and the shallow socializing that precedes the possibility of friendship is untolerable to me. If I could smoke pot for a few years to tolerate that until I found a few real friends, maybe? But likely the marijuana would be part of the relationship, and it not being high would change the dynamic, probably for the worse.

What I’ve managed to do most of my life is just this: be online. With the ability to choose what I want to talk about without boring other people (they don´t have to read the way they´d have to listen in a friend group), without competing with others for space, without tolerating conversations I find boring, without burning my bridges with people who will remember and judge me forever (more of a problem on Lemmy, actually).