wait, is the fact i hadn’t studied linear algebra and multivariate calculus in high school why i wasn’t understanding electromagnetism, and when i understood them enough to teach them in college suddenly electromagnetism clicked?

it was really stupid. I kept forgetting which finger went where on the right hand rule (i have it now, thanks) and then i couldn’t make the math work. every other godsdamned thing in the physics text made intuitive sense but that.