So, sad stuff, my mom died when I was 23, and my dad just passed this week, as I’m just shy of 40. Early and sucks but is what it is.
The sad isn’t the point of this, though. The point of this is that I now have both of their thick gold wedding bands. I probably could have asked for them before, and he probably would have given them to me, but they weren’t my memory to have yet.
Now that I have them, however, they have proven to be a peak fidget toy for driving. I hate driving, especially long-distance, and I tend to start nodding off because it’s boring af. Im AutDHD, so yeah the falling asleep bit is normal for me, and so fucking dangerous. If public transit was an option, I’d absolutely use it, but it isn’t a practical option (thanks carbrain US, for making me a danger to the people around me as a matter of course… really thrilled to be forced into this position…)
My mom’s is just big enough to fit my off-hand index finger, and my dad’s is just small enough to not fit over that, but its way too big for me alone. But if I put it on first and then my mom’s, it stays put and jingles around. The noise it makes when I tap my finger on the wheel is so ridiculously pleasing to me. It keeps me occupied enough to stay awake, so I’m not a giant hazard on the road. Yay! Win!
So, what’s your “turns out I needed this all along” fidget?
The lightbulb moment for fidgets was my wedding rings and I guess my iron ring. I got my iron ring a few years before I got married and I was always tapping it on hard surfaces when I was thinking but part of the whole thing is that it’s supposed to remind you of your obligations as an engineer so I thought that was normal?
I would constantly tap my wedding rings with my thumbs of the same hand and joke that they give me my strength. My partner is my rock but the secret sauce is the stim lol.
I think your actual question is about what purpose built fidget toys we like? My current fave is something like this:
It’s hard enough being a 40+ lady type whose job it is to argue on construction sites without bursting jell filled stress balls all over yourself lol. I like that this one will not explode. I honestly dgaf that it’s ‘childlike’, I’d love to have someone make a shitty remark to my face. I’ve got the “say the vilest shit imaginable impulsively” autism.
Hehe same here, ive never been so fluid and eloquent as when im pissed and laying out the most hurtful and destructive words conceivable