Can you expand on your ways of rectifying this divide? How do you prioritise, how do you keep this from pulling apart (or put it back together again after)?
I ask because your description speaks quite deeply to me and it’s a recognition I had for a couple years but still no real solutions discovered.
As a very concrete example, my partner loves to do the typical weekend pub/bar night, or turn a beer after work into a long evening; every now and again go to a club, concert, even a play or just coffee with others. I want to support them, and often find myself enjoying the activities too. But the days afterwards I am just destroyed with no capacity for creative output. Creative output is the only thing that relaxes and helps me recuperate from social outings. So every time after we do something I’m just a solitary wreck for like a week after. And I don’t really know how to break this cycle yet, without giving up the kind of activities my partner (and frankly, I) enjoy doing together for a long time in between.
I’m not who you asked, but I would set limits on my time in participating and bring the tools I need to help manage the sensory load.
Yes I’ll come with you, but I won’t stay. My partner might have to learn to be okay on their own for the rest of the night or with leaving early with me sometimes. I will bring my loop switch adjustable earplugs and my FL-41 glasses to tone down the sensory inputs so that I have more processing available for social exchanges.
I won’t nag or complain… I will just be aware of when I’m at my limit and then responsibly facilitate my own exit when it’s time.
Can you expand on your ways of rectifying this divide? How do you prioritise, how do you keep this from pulling apart (or put it back together again after)?
I ask because your description speaks quite deeply to me and it’s a recognition I had for a couple years but still no real solutions discovered.
As a very concrete example, my partner loves to do the typical weekend pub/bar night, or turn a beer after work into a long evening; every now and again go to a club, concert, even a play or just coffee with others. I want to support them, and often find myself enjoying the activities too. But the days afterwards I am just destroyed with no capacity for creative output. Creative output is the only thing that relaxes and helps me recuperate from social outings. So every time after we do something I’m just a solitary wreck for like a week after. And I don’t really know how to break this cycle yet, without giving up the kind of activities my partner (and frankly, I) enjoy doing together for a long time in between.
I’m not who you asked, but I would set limits on my time in participating and bring the tools I need to help manage the sensory load.
Yes I’ll come with you, but I won’t stay. My partner might have to learn to be okay on their own for the rest of the night or with leaving early with me sometimes. I will bring my loop switch adjustable earplugs and my FL-41 glasses to tone down the sensory inputs so that I have more processing available for social exchanges.
I won’t nag or complain… I will just be aware of when I’m at my limit and then responsibly facilitate my own exit when it’s time.