I think I’m still in the “That’s not neurodivergent behavior. That’s just a totally normal thing that totally normal people do, all the time”, phase of denial.
and also that neurodivergence is a lot more common than people think it is, it’s just finally socially acceptable to not force yourself to hide it 100% of the time
same phenomenon as “huh I wonder why so many people are LGBTQ+ these days?” lol
Yeah my kids all got diagnosed and I still will swear that the questionnaire they brought home had almost entirely criteria I consider normal behavior. “Can your child sit still and focus on boring tasks?” Well, can you, person asking the question? Nobody can do that, right? “Does your child annoy you sometimes with their behavior?”. What the fuck? Of course they do, that also is normal. At what point do we admit that society is forcing kids into unnatural behavior, the kids aren’t broken?
I still am ok with them taking meds to get through school & life, to feel comfortable. I just think it is an unusual person who can sit and focus on something they don’t find engaging. I sure as hell can’t.
Kids are made to run around most of the day and play. Adults are not designed to sit at a screen all day either.
Yeah, some studies have even estimated as high as 60% of the population having some sort of neurodivergence. Which would mean that “neurotypical” isn’t even the majority. They’re simply the largest (~40%) minority. It’s also the only exclusionary group. Basically all of the other forms of neurodivergence can be comorbid, but neurodivergence is all on its own. So the Venn diagram of neurodivergence is a bunch of smaller overlapping circles, with one giant (40% of the total) “neurotypical” circle off to the side.
Which is why when we meet new people, we tend to assume neurotypicality by default. Because if you’re going to make assumptions about someone, (and yes, the human brain does naturally make a lot of assumptions), the largest homogenous group is the safest bet.
But it also means that 40% is able to wield a lot of social power, simply because they’re the go-to assumption. They rarely get challenged in social situations, because neurodivergents have been trained to fit in with that 40%. It’s also why neurotypicals get so upset when they aren’t the default, (like in this post, where they get upset about everyone “jumping on a bandwagon” to claim neurodivergence), because they’re not used to being the outlier.
They’re not used to being excluded. They have always been the one who benefits from the social structures they have collectively put in place, and being excluded for the first time makes them viscerally angry. They’ve never had to adapt their own quirks or mask to cater to a neurodivergent person, because the neurodivergents have always been the ones to do it instead. So when they’re suddenly not the default, (like the people who would complain in this post), they get their first taste of being expected to mask. And they don’t like it.
The funny part is that oftentimes, the neurodivergent crowd wouldn’t even expect the neurotypical to mask. After all, the neurodivergents are used to putting up with neurotypical quirks. Outside of specific situations like support groups, I can’t think of a scenario where a neurotypical person would be actively excluded simply because they are neurotypical. But I can think of countless scenarios where neurotypicals would actively exclude a non-masking neurodivergent person. Because the neurotypical does expect neurodivergents to mask, they project that expectation and assume that the reverse will also hold true. At most, the neurodivergent person may just ask the neurotypical person to do/avoid certain things. Maybe an autistic person would ask the neurotypical person to watch their volume, because they get overstimulated by loud noises. But that’s not expecting the neurotypical person to mask, because masking would be hiding the fact that they’re neurotypical.
I think I’m still in the “That’s not neurodivergent behavior. That’s just a totally normal thing that totally normal people do, all the time”, phase of denial.
then you realise most your good friends are neurodivergents
and also that neurodivergence is a lot more common than people think it is, it’s just finally socially acceptable to not force yourself to hide it 100% of the time
same phenomenon as “huh I wonder why so many people are LGBTQ+ these days?” lol
It makes me wonder what percentage of people really have Add/hd and at what percentage will the term neurodivergent even make sense anymore.
Yeah my kids all got diagnosed and I still will swear that the questionnaire they brought home had almost entirely criteria I consider normal behavior. “Can your child sit still and focus on boring tasks?” Well, can you, person asking the question? Nobody can do that, right? “Does your child annoy you sometimes with their behavior?”. What the fuck? Of course they do, that also is normal. At what point do we admit that society is forcing kids into unnatural behavior, the kids aren’t broken?
I still am ok with them taking meds to get through school & life, to feel comfortable. I just think it is an unusual person who can sit and focus on something they don’t find engaging. I sure as hell can’t.
Kids are made to run around most of the day and play. Adults are not designed to sit at a screen all day either.
Yeah, some studies have even estimated as high as 60% of the population having some sort of neurodivergence. Which would mean that “neurotypical” isn’t even the majority. They’re simply the largest (~40%) minority. It’s also the only exclusionary group. Basically all of the other forms of neurodivergence can be comorbid, but neurodivergence is all on its own. So the Venn diagram of neurodivergence is a bunch of smaller overlapping circles, with one giant (40% of the total) “neurotypical” circle off to the side.
Which is why when we meet new people, we tend to assume neurotypicality by default. Because if you’re going to make assumptions about someone, (and yes, the human brain does naturally make a lot of assumptions), the largest homogenous group is the safest bet.
But it also means that 40% is able to wield a lot of social power, simply because they’re the go-to assumption. They rarely get challenged in social situations, because neurodivergents have been trained to fit in with that 40%. It’s also why neurotypicals get so upset when they aren’t the default, (like in this post, where they get upset about everyone “jumping on a bandwagon” to claim neurodivergence), because they’re not used to being the outlier.
They’re not used to being excluded. They have always been the one who benefits from the social structures they have collectively put in place, and being excluded for the first time makes them viscerally angry. They’ve never had to adapt their own quirks or mask to cater to a neurodivergent person, because the neurodivergents have always been the ones to do it instead. So when they’re suddenly not the default, (like the people who would complain in this post), they get their first taste of being expected to mask. And they don’t like it.
The funny part is that oftentimes, the neurodivergent crowd wouldn’t even expect the neurotypical to mask. After all, the neurodivergents are used to putting up with neurotypical quirks. Outside of specific situations like support groups, I can’t think of a scenario where a neurotypical person would be actively excluded simply because they are neurotypical. But I can think of countless scenarios where neurotypicals would actively exclude a non-masking neurodivergent person. Because the neurotypical does expect neurodivergents to mask, they project that expectation and assume that the reverse will also hold true. At most, the neurodivergent person may just ask the neurotypical person to do/avoid certain things. Maybe an autistic person would ask the neurotypical person to watch their volume, because they get overstimulated by loud noises. But that’s not expecting the neurotypical person to mask, because masking would be hiding the fact that they’re neurotypical.