About 3000 years ago I worked as a night security guard in a place where we’d often have celebrities during the day. One night during one of my rounds I found an iPod in the parking lot. Went back to the control room and started going through the menus to see if I could figure out who it belonged to, and based on the device’s name I realized it belonged to an abject asshole of a media personality / early “influencer” of sorts, who got rich by “preaching” what amounted to a secular prosperity gospel, essentially a cheerleader for the “fuck you, I got mine”-brand of capitalism.

I can say I didn’t have to think too many milliseconds about what to do with the device and felt no pangs of guilt about yoinking it. I used it for years and years, and probably much longer than that particular dude would have since I mainly worked low income jobs and I couldn’t have afforded a new one even if I wanted to.

I reset the device but kept its name as it was, just as a sort of small personal 🖕 to that guy.