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Nice try officer
Being a dirty red
This has happened to me three times:
- 2 AM: We had left our car door open and the officer was concerned that someone had broken into the vehicle and left it open in a hurry when they saw his police car coming down the street. Nope, we just got home real late from a long flight (an hour prior) and were tired AF when unloading.
- My neighbor’s truck was stolen; twice (the replacement was stolen a week after he got it). The officer wanted to know how sketchy my neighbor was and if it was likely insurance fraud. Nope: That guy washed and polished his truck every week. He loved that thing.
- The officer was investigating Medicaid fraud and wanted to interview our autistic daughter to see if she had taken part in it (it involved a taxi service that she used regularly to go to appointments). When he found out she was (mostly high functioning) autistic he was basically done because she obviously wasn’t mentally sophisticated enough to have intentionally participated in any such scheme. He went from "obviously* suspicious and skeptical to all smiles and applauded us for adopting and taking care of an autistic adult (my wife met her though the Big Brothers Big Sisters org).
From a legal standpoint, my home is the most boring place possible. If we’re doing something illegal, it’s news to us! LOL.
I have had my phone tapped by the FBI too! They must’ve been bored out of their minds, being forced to listen to my exceptionally boring conference calls at work for weeks on end 🤣
How do I know it was tapped?
- The phone company fucked up the tap. My totally stable phone line suddenly went to shit after a big news event at my previous employer. I could hear static regularly, cross-talk with police radio, and even an, “oops I hope he didn’t hear that!” Moment (LOL).
- They sent me a nice letter a year or so later saying they did it as part of an investigation with the most terse language possible.
They sent me a nice letter a year or so later saying they did it as part of an investigation with the most terse language possible.
My ethnically ambiguous skin tone.
Three Felonies A Day
You tell me, officer?Probably to ask when the last time I spoke with a disabled/elderly neighbor when they pass away ☹️
Your mom.
Rampant piracy
