With examples of masculinity like Donald J. Trump, Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro and Joe Rogan, I’ve given up on maleness
Yeah, male here (born as male, identify as male), I don’t think most of us see any of those guys as very masculine. I think every single one of those, but particularly DJT and Joe Rogan, have some really deep insecurities that cause them to be the way they are. Joe Rogan probably has body dysmorphia and a whole host of other issues. I think DJT is an asshole because his own family saw him as a failure and so he’s been trying to prove himself to everyone, but nobody gave a fuck, no matter how big he made his public image.
Real masculinity is something else entirely. Our elevated T levels are because we’re supposed to be providers and protectors by nature. This doesn’t mean that in modern day you should still financially provide for the entire family alone (women work too now, and that’s fine), it means that if you see someone pushing a car that ran out of gas before reaching the gas station, you offer to help, regardless of the other person’s gender identity or skin color. It means that if your elderly neighbor can’t shovel snow off their driveway anymore, you offer to help. And most importantly, you stand by your family and others close to you, and help them protect their own rights (particularly children who don’t know how to stand up for themselves yet).
And some men are not masculine, that’s fine. Some women are masculine too, that’s fine too.
And you know what, I WILL toot my own horn now. I may not be an example of peak masculinity either, but thinking about it, the above mostly describes me. I help anyone I can - especially with physical things, because I’m a force of nature. When I can of course - I still have to put myself and my family first. I take care of my child without any real involvement from my ex - because she wasn’t really capable of being a loving mother. When we were together, I slept 2-3 hours a night to provide for her and the kids (one being my stepkid). I probably did more at home than she did, and I also worked more than full time. Other than two of my exes being physically abusive because they knew I wouldn’t hit back, I haven’t been in a fight since middle school. Not because I’ve pussied out - because I got so big through powerlifting that nobody dares try anything anymore, and I NEVER start a fight. The one thing that I guess is not particularly masculine about me is that I’m not assertive enough. I let people push me around and then erase them from my life, rather than immediately telling them off.
The manosphere will probably call me a beta. I don’t sleep with a bunch of different women, I don’t fight people, I let my ex sleep around without immediately dumping her or hitting her or whatever because I didn’t want to break up the family, one of my best friends is a trans woman. Etc. But fuck that noise, they don’t know what being a man is.
So keep this in mind when you re-evaluate what you think of gender identities. Feel free to stay undefined if that’s what floats your goat, but if TRT makes you feel like you identify as a male, don’t be ashamed of it just because of some noisy ass idiots. Realize that most men, just like most women (and enbies), are just quietly working away at improving the lives of people around them, as well as their own lives. You never hear from those men (or women or enbies) because they don’t have any desire to be public or spread some kind of message.
We’re just in a period right now where male loneliness is a huge issue and unfortunately as a result, a lot of young men do look up to some warped ideas of “masculinity”, while the real issue is that they don’t have enough female friends (and friends in general) in their lives. And of course that’s not anyone’s fault in particular, but I suspect that fans of Andrew Tate or Ben Shapiro would have more luck finding female friends if they weren’t fans of Andrew Tate or Ben Shapiro.
I’ve deliberated at length at what masculinity means to me, which I explain here – sorry about the sloppy link.
tl;dr: My early perspectives of manhood come from the cold war: the capacity to hold onto immense (⚛☢) amounts of power and not use it inappropriately, and never in aggression. In time it became taking care of business; to man up is to pony up and pay bills and make sure adult stuff is managed. But in the 1990s that became adulting and was expected of everyone who was of majority.
Now, manhood is about using grandfathered presumptions of masculinity to preserve old power structures and oppress women and minorities, and I want nothing to do with any of it.
Yeah, male here (born as male, identify as male), I don’t think most of us see any of those guys as very masculine. I think every single one of those, but particularly DJT and Joe Rogan, have some really deep insecurities that cause them to be the way they are. Joe Rogan probably has body dysmorphia and a whole host of other issues. I think DJT is an asshole because his own family saw him as a failure and so he’s been trying to prove himself to everyone, but nobody gave a fuck, no matter how big he made his public image.
Real masculinity is something else entirely. Our elevated T levels are because we’re supposed to be providers and protectors by nature. This doesn’t mean that in modern day you should still financially provide for the entire family alone (women work too now, and that’s fine), it means that if you see someone pushing a car that ran out of gas before reaching the gas station, you offer to help, regardless of the other person’s gender identity or skin color. It means that if your elderly neighbor can’t shovel snow off their driveway anymore, you offer to help. And most importantly, you stand by your family and others close to you, and help them protect their own rights (particularly children who don’t know how to stand up for themselves yet).
And some men are not masculine, that’s fine. Some women are masculine too, that’s fine too.
And you know what, I WILL toot my own horn now. I may not be an example of peak masculinity either, but thinking about it, the above mostly describes me. I help anyone I can - especially with physical things, because I’m a force of nature. When I can of course - I still have to put myself and my family first. I take care of my child without any real involvement from my ex - because she wasn’t really capable of being a loving mother. When we were together, I slept 2-3 hours a night to provide for her and the kids (one being my stepkid). I probably did more at home than she did, and I also worked more than full time. Other than two of my exes being physically abusive because they knew I wouldn’t hit back, I haven’t been in a fight since middle school. Not because I’ve pussied out - because I got so big through powerlifting that nobody dares try anything anymore, and I NEVER start a fight. The one thing that I guess is not particularly masculine about me is that I’m not assertive enough. I let people push me around and then erase them from my life, rather than immediately telling them off.
The manosphere will probably call me a beta. I don’t sleep with a bunch of different women, I don’t fight people, I let my ex sleep around without immediately dumping her or hitting her or whatever because I didn’t want to break up the family, one of my best friends is a trans woman. Etc. But fuck that noise, they don’t know what being a man is.
So keep this in mind when you re-evaluate what you think of gender identities. Feel free to stay undefined if that’s what floats your goat, but if TRT makes you feel like you identify as a male, don’t be ashamed of it just because of some noisy ass idiots. Realize that most men, just like most women (and enbies), are just quietly working away at improving the lives of people around them, as well as their own lives. You never hear from those men (or women or enbies) because they don’t have any desire to be public or spread some kind of message.
We’re just in a period right now where male loneliness is a huge issue and unfortunately as a result, a lot of young men do look up to some warped ideas of “masculinity”, while the real issue is that they don’t have enough female friends (and friends in general) in their lives. And of course that’s not anyone’s fault in particular, but I suspect that fans of Andrew Tate or Ben Shapiro would have more luck finding female friends if they weren’t fans of Andrew Tate or Ben Shapiro.
I’ve deliberated at length at what masculinity means to me, which I explain here – sorry about the sloppy link.
tl;dr: My early perspectives of manhood come from the cold war: the capacity to hold onto immense (⚛☢) amounts of power and not use it inappropriately, and never in aggression. In time it became taking care of business; to man up is to pony up and pay bills and make sure adult stuff is managed. But in the 1990s that became adulting and was expected of everyone who was of majority.
Now, manhood is about using grandfathered presumptions of masculinity to preserve old power structures and oppress women and minorities, and I want nothing to do with any of it.