I just got back from two days at a giant conference. Every year I go, and my dream is to join in the community that it is a part of, and every year I come back, having talked to no one at all.
I can plan things to say, and then just shut down when the opportunity comes. I can also plan too far and figure that I won’t have anything more to say after the initial contact, so why bother?
I’ve read various books on social anxiety and the old “How to win friends”, but I just don’t feel like they’re helpful. Does anyone know of any resources that take autism and selective mutism into consideration?
Go on to smaller communities. Charity works or hobby meetups are like, cheating your way into social lives because (a) Everyone wants you to be there (b) You have a subject in common and © if you don’t feel like talking you can turn your attention to the work or the hobby and be seen in a positive light for it.
That’s a good point. I should change my ambitions and join something more local and regular instead of trying to break through instantly at a thing with 2000+ people.