cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2749844
I don’t know if I’m a low key alcoholic or so cheap because in my past I was homeless and dependent on the charity of (sometimes) strangers and feel I only “deserve” alcohol when it’s on sale.
I know binge drinking is stupid, I know if I drink more than a pint of beer without food my stomach feels bad and I feel dizzy, but each time I find beer on sale I buy at least a 6 pack (6 pints). I then promise myself to drink it within several days, not all within 3 days, but something snaps in me each time I open the fridge and see all that beer. I sometimes drink 2 pints a day till I have no more beer.
The only thing stopping me from buying beer every day is the price: if beer is not on sale, I don’t buy it.
Beer is the only alcoholic drink I buy, I cannot tolerate anything else.
There are much healthier alternatives there, like tea, milk or juicy fruits, but my brain still associates beer with a good time, which is very ironic, because now, after drinking almost a pint, I have a headache. It doesn’t even taste as good as I thought it would.
Another thing that stops me from drinking more is reading about other alcoholics, their regrets and health issues, but my brain still “wants” the beer.
To be even more ironic, I usually run 2 miles and do some stretching and yoga before going to work, but yesterday and today I was so tired I skipped this routine and started drinking.
Am I a high functioning alcoholic?
How do I stop being so fixated on alcohol on sale?
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It doesn’t particularly sound like it’s the alcohol you’re craving if you’re only buying it on sale, but there’s definitely some sort of unhealthy mindset going on there with the compulsive purchasing and consumption. When I was an alcoholic I was drinking 3-4 pints on my nights in because I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise, not only buying it if it was on sale.
Completely speculating, it sounds like beer on sale became a significant reward mechanism during your homelessness, and you need to find a new reward to shift that focus over to. Some kind of sweet treat, some kind of game or hobby, something you can reach for instead of the sale beer. You need to convince yourself you are worth more than just sale beer, you’re worth the nice things you’d like to have in your life.