So my girlfriend apologises compulsively. I find it easy to talk to her about the reasons why she may do that; however, she posed to me a question today which I found a little more tricky to answer:
How do I feel when I tell her to stop apologising, and why do I feel the need to tell her to stop apologising?
It’s honestly something I never gave thought to before. It is a very, very minor annoyance - to the point where I feel calling it an ‘annoyance’ is too harsh - but I don’t actually know why I feel the need to tell her stop doing it all the time.
I’m hoping someone can help me put it into words. So I ask you, Lemmy: how does it feel when someone apologises too much, and why do you feel the need to tell them to stop apologising?
I know exactly what you’re talking about, a new girl at work apologises for everything, and im always like, no need, you had know way to know.
But the reason it irks me is because to have someone apologise to you implies you have reprimanded them in some way, which isn’t what’s happened, and it implies they have acted innappropriately, which is also incorrect.
And that’s important, because if we dont frame it in fault/blame terms it’s more efficient and avoids abrasiveness that may turn toward conflict.