For decades there was a funeral parlor down the street from my house. Right in the middle of a busy residential neighborhood in the city. There’s only on-street parking and they had two spots in front of their building reserved for funerals. Only no one ever parked there. No cars, limos, hearses, anything. A neon open sign turned on every day over their door but no one ever came or went.

My parents had a tenant who was an elderly gentleman with few relatives. When he died, my mom called the parlor to arrange the funeral but no one answered. She left a message on their machine but no one ever called back. We weren’t fully surprised because we’d been calling it a front for years, but mom was unconvinced until then.

The building got fully renovated a few years ago and we actually saw a funeral taking place, so they’ve upped their game.