Well I think I might be autistic, I’ve wondered why I feel so different from other people, why it feels like I am taking my entire life, why when I lose focus, or am not being focused on i become completely silent and struggle to make even simple comments, and why I have had to watch and learn from others to become remotely social. I guess those are all signs of autism. I took that RAADS-R test and got a score of 141, which is slightly above the mean for autistics, I also took a few other of those quizzes.
But my question is what happens now? What do I do? I don’t feel comfortable asking my parents if I can get examined, I can’t really afford to do it myself, but I guess I could try. I don’t want to just start saying that I’m autistic, and have to mention that it’s self diagnosed because I think we all know the stigma around that.
Heck I’m still in the stage (or I assume it’s a stage because it matches that one post here where they talked about their stages of realizing they have autism, and I related completely to it) where I’m not sure if I am not just faking this whole thing. So what do I do now?
Can I ask why you’re not comfortable talking to your parents about it? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the reasons a person might not be comfortable with it, my dad was not an example of a model reaction to it, but everyone’s reasons are different. Do you fear they will reject you? Hurt you? Punish you?
I don’t know. It’s just an uncomfortable feeling I guess. Probably a mix of my hate for attention, I don’t even like complements, to a worry about how they’ll treat it and react. Both of my siblings have depression and they were willing to help them, but they’ve always treated them differently from me, they’re both girls and when they sure their interests, it’s congratulated, but when I’ve shared mine it’s often met with criticism. I guess it’s some mid of that.
Hey I actually managed to have a conversation about it and we’re scheduling an appointment! The conversation was insanely funny too, my mom was talking about how time oriented I was as a child, like if we went to the store mid day it would get me so angry, and how much I loved lining up and sorting my hotwheels. I was so shocked that such clear signs had been given when I was a child, and they didn’t realize ir that I just was laughing, and now I’ve got an appointment
Hey that’s fantastic news! I’m glad they’re taking it seriously and supporting you like this 😁 And obviously, post here whenever you feel like it about your journey! It’ll almost definitely help someone else going through similar, even if it just makes them feel less alone 🙌