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Cake day: August 27th, 2026

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  • We put them on edge the moment we’re in their space. This is why so many of us mask to blend in or my husband puts them off balance with an inappropriate joke and then wins them over with charm. They notice immediately. If you try to mask it, it will take hypervilligance because you have to change every bit of your body language and trailer or to whomever you’re talking to in order to put them at ease. This is incredibly mentally taxing and most people fail because they don’t have the trauma induced hypervilligance. A lot of us have significant trauma, some of which you’ve outlined here. Autistic kids are often very sensitive and it takes less to traumatize them than typical kids. An event may not seem overtly traumatizing and it will still traumatize neurodivergent children. To shame children, any children, about being able to control their emotions comes from a place of ignorance. Their brain is not developed enough in the best case to do this until well into adolescence. Neurodivergent children are also deficient in this region of the brain so they’re never going to be good at it. You can teach them to hide it but then they shame themselves into it and ruminate on it and before you know it, they have no self esteem and they’ve stuffed whatever is truly them under a mask. This will cause significant problems in adulthood and relationships. The science is new, people don’t know, I get that, but if you’re going to work with special needs kids you need to know, as a parent or a teacher.