Hold onto their butts.

I think you’re referring to George Clinton. Clitoris is when you use the CI tool “Codename Taurus” from the shell.

Hank, why do you drink?

Never take cough syrup and mix it up with iodine and lye.

I couldn’t believe that was a service that actually existed when I first got one.

Like, as if buying a greeting card weren’t already the bare minimum someone could do, let’s find a way to put even less care and effort into it.

I generally dislike greeting cards. My wife and I have decided not to exchange them anymore (birthdays/valentines/anniversary). Her brother and sister have a cool tradition though, they get each other the wrong greeting card for each other’s birthday. Last year my SIL got a bris card, and my BIL got a quinceñara card.

There comes a time in a man’s life when sitting down on the toilet means your carry-on might meet an unexpected water landing.

Basically tastes like what SatansMaggottCumFart said. Hard boiled egg with a slightly spicy,slightly sweet, vinegar taste.

Label maker is a Niimbot. It’s a Bluetooth printer and I think there are only (official) apps for android and iOS. I tried a Linux flatpak for it but didn’t have flatseal installed and didn’t feel like messing with its permissions.

I have some half gallon ball mason jars…brand new shrink-wrapped. I just used the pickle jar because it was more accessible.

Is it because of the lid? The two piece jobber with the waxy ring? Just using that type of jar makes it ferment better? Or something specific with how they are prepped?

I have some kale that I need to do something with and was thinking a kale kimchi but I have none of the spices and I don’t think my garlic or scallions are ready to pick yet.

This is a half gallon ball-style jar (was originally a jar of Mt. Olive Pickels).

There’s about 20 eggs and two cans worth of sliced beets in there.

Saved the juice of the two cans worth of beets. Added about 2c of white vinegar. Added some sugar, some kosher salt, some peppercorns, some clove, and some bay leaves.

Specifically, the recipe said “~1.5c beet-can-water (add water if needed), 2 cups vinegar, 1c granulated sugar, 1tsp kosher salt, 1Tbs peppercorn, 8 cloves, 2 bay leaves.”

Of course, I tend to have a heavy hand when it comes to spices. And sugar. And salt. And vinegar.

Bring that to a boil until the sugar is fully dissolved, then simmer for ~5 mins.

Meanwhile, layer peeled, boiled eggs and beets in jar. I did a layer of 5 eggs, followed by half a can of beets.

Then pour the hot brine over the eggs. I put the mason jar on top of a cloth inside of (cold and empty!) saucepan to prevent messes.

Let the jar cool ~30 mins to room temperature uncovered (or covered with cloth). Then lid and refrigerate and let soak 2 days before consuming. Supposedly keeps 2-3 weeks in the fridge before texture starts to get gross, many people will eat them upto a month.

I was worried about not having enough brine…I had enough surplus to make a 1qt jar with about a dozen more eggs (and no beets) in it. Will probably gift it to a friend or neighbor, if I like how they come out.

One of my neighbors is having a baby Monday. Is that a weird gift for a new (second-time) mom? It’s probably more for the dad, tbh.

My dirty secret is…this recipe came from an LLM. I was trying to figure out what to do with a surplus of eggs (chickens, amiright?) and pickling was one suggestion. One thing led to another and they gave me a recipe. I haven’t had pickled eggs in forever…but I can’t wait to break into these guys.

Tbh it’s a hell of a lot more convenient getting a recipe from an LLM than it is actually searching and browsing through recipe blogs. Far less fluff. Also it made me a really sweet bread pudding which I attribute to giving me a +5 to weight. Think it was around St. Patty’s day…I bought an Irish Soda bread because I never tried it before and it turned out nobody in my family liked it, so I froze it, then started freezing other heels and leftover bread, until I had like 2lbs stocked up in total…even separated out and weighed each type of bread so it’d know what I was working with.

Came out sooooo friggen good man.

I can’t wait. They have to soak in the brine at least two days for peak pickling.

“Are good to make tea out of” isn’t a grammatically correct demand unless you are tiny, green, and live in a cave down by the Dagobah system.

“MAKE A DECENT CUPPA” is a demand.

Buying heron on the internet and I don’t even need crypto.

There was a period a few years ago, when my kid was like, 3…we were driving somewhere and I asked him if he knew where he was.

His response? “You’re in the jungle, baby”.

Nah it’s just our larva, pupa, and adult stages.

Of course. He’s the baby!

What finally killed TV show quotable taglines? Was it Bazinga? I hope it was Bazinga.

Looks more like New Balanceiaga to me.

Oh man I’ve got hammer toes on one foot and you’ve made me realize that one of them has gotten really bad since the last time I had to wear anything more than sneakers.

I’m actually dreading the next time I have to wear dress shoes now. And I’m a 14WW, it’s hard enough finding shoes without toe conditions adding on top. I think I just need to find a cobbler, at this point.

They made “hoping to own something” their whole personality.

The American Dream.

I’m leaning satire. If you poke around his site enough, you’ll get rickrolled.

There also seems to be no such thing as “The American Foundation for Heritage-Based Circumcision”.

Nah that’s why it’s called “The American Dream”. The point is, we’re supposed to be fantasizing about a better life in the future if we just endure a little hardship now.

That sounds shockingly similar to the tactics used by religion. And pedophiles in vans. It’s weird how they are all the same thing. They all over-promise, under-deliver, and fuck you in the ass along the way.