You know what I like?

Cake farts.

Well, the normal kind of slavery usually involved some level of rape, and slave children weren’t uncommon, so…2+2=4…

They didn’t see people or even children. They saw a n****r. They saw a n****r with a hole. A hole that they owned, and can do with what they please.

Apologies for resorting to the strong language, but it’s kind of important to impart…we grew up with a very romanticized vision of slavery taught to us by the white American public education system. I made a goddamn diorama of a plantation in the 5th grade (1995). And put a happy little slave working the tobacco fields (my mom even crumbled up a cigarette and glued it to the board. It was a Misty. I can still smell it…)

Using the hurtful word, in this context, I think is important to remind us of exactly why it’s such a hurtful word. The history has been forgotten by so many.

I’d gladly use any of Carlin’s 7 Words in most contexts. That word is obfuscated for a reason. It shouldn’t be used anymore, except in this type of context, to remind us of our violent past.

Now I’m craving some maple syrup poutine.

Yeah but have you seen the Dow?

And then…

The password manager can’t fill the form. You’ve got to change your 10-word, unique passphrase because it’s 3 months old. And you have to verify with a text.

Oh and then you have to type it in on your TV with a remote and on-screen keyboard.

Kevin James stars as Bob in Adam Sandler’s Fight Club.

Eli goddangit I told you to PUSH.

And will probably remain as such until spez creates an account here.

Funny, when you apply that to biology, I think it changes its name to “eugenics”.

This is why I held off on playing Skyrim until I actually took an arrow to the knee.

Connect 4 is still played in two dimensions tho…

“OnlyFans Paid For This” tattoo but above your chemo port scar.

God bless America.

“Proud parent of an OnlyFans ‘student’”

Aunt May, nooooo!

I wish I had this on my minivan.

96% of the day is better than 76% of the pay.

It’s a bullshit part of the day we lose, anyway. Seriously, who needs 2am?

What’d they say before we invented barns?

Who

The owls.

Who

No, I mean, what did the people call them!

Who

Barn owls! What were they called before barns!

Who

My employer sends out a sheet every year that itemizes our entire comp package.

The single most expensive is my insurance, a family EPO with a $750/1500 deductible.

I pay $8200/yr. My employer pays nearly $33,000.

Forty. Thousand. Dollars. For one family.

Plus another $10k or so for Medicare and Dental and Vision.

$50k, per year, all told.

That is equal to roughly half of the median household income in my town.

And then deductibles, co-pays, etc.

And then…the fuckers…you put money in your FSA but can’t locate the receipt for reimbursement? Fuck off man, that money is for your employer now.

Our President is fucking children with zero consequence, and I need to show a fucking receipt to reimburse a fucking $3 prescription, with my own money that I put there.

After myself and my employer already paid $50k combined into the system?

Fuck this country man.