I swear on my mother I’m not joking.

When I was 9 I was riding my bike back from the club, but something was wrong with the wheels so I started walking.

A stereotypical beat down white van stopped next to me, and a stereotypical cartoon bad guy said “hey kid, hop on, I have something to give you”

So how did they try to lure 9 year old me? Ice cream? Games? Chocolate?

An encyclopedia. They claimed to have an encyclopedia to show me.

I try to give my friends free adderall once in a while. Weirdly enough, most of them decline.