I’m an ally, so this doesn’t impact me directly, but I feel like this is why we need to be more inclusive with our family units. That will also help us to protect and shelter each other, and provide for each other in case times get really bad. The nuclear family isn’t the answer, we need to build communities.
Sorry to go off topic, but are gay people more likely to be single? It seems that almost every gay person I know personally is in a relationship. Def not so with straight people I know.
As a gay man myself, most gay men I know personally [median age ~35] are single.
Retirement age gay people yes
Well that sucks.
It’s what happens when a plague makes sex a death sentence that decimates queer communities. By the time sex no longer equals death, they’re either too old to go to the club or they’re the old guys at the club or the old guys on the apps, easy to filter out. And that’s if they were lucky enough to come out before living a repressed life either in closeted celibacy or in a decades-long heterosexual relationship first.
Humans trend towards conservatism with age. So fear of the unknown, entrenched dogma, and adversarial tribalism naturally trend stronger.
As someone that is physically disabled and dealing with long term social isolation, curiosity is the key to finding balance in hard situations. Think of Stephen Hawking and how you’d deal with the limitations of ALS. Or think of others that have been in solitary confinement, or past times where people have spent decades alone in the wilderness. You should not need to deal with such circumstances in life. I do not want you to, friend. But if you find yourself in such a situation, firstly, never turn to permanent solutions to temporary problems. Secondly, social stigma is the source of most harm, and while it is easy to see the harm from others, our own internal dogma is harder to audit and can be just as harmful.
Like it was so hard to deal with never recovering my physicality and work capacity after a broken neck and back. The challenge for me was adjusting to my self expectations. I went from a bull of a 29 year old to an 80 year old man in an instant.
The trick is to just do stuff for yourself using your own curiosity. Read, write your own science fiction universe, learn to code, sew, knit, carving, paint, plaster, wood working, upcycle, people watch - write your own narratives of their lives in your mind and see where they go or who they interact with to see if your observations pan. Teach yourself CAD, learn Linux, learn vector graphics, KiCAD, FreeCAD, get some physics books, get a telescope and look at the stars, get into optics and discover its complexity, relearn math, dive into history, read old books on Gutenberg, run your own offline AI for someone to talk to at 3am when no one else is around, if you adequately learn to understand its limitations and caveats. Dive into fermentation in its fundamental form and not the commercialized nonsense of repeatability and cleanliness because none of that actually matters at home when preserving whatever that is about to go bad.
Anyways, that is just some off my list, so far. Conquering yourself is ultimately the biggest challenge. Only worry about the things you can change, because to worry about anything else is a waste of energy and time.
That is my best advice digital neighbor friend. You’re not alone. Sometimes it is just challenging to find your friends. One’s internal dialog can be a rich experience if developed well. Learn to love and develop that person, as that is your real best friend that can save you when nothing else can. – sincerely
