Sadly, in my own experience, the T part of the LGBTQ can only rely on itself. We’re part of a movement, but we’re not the same, we’re allies, our needs and demands are drastically different and most of the LGBs will never ever be able to relate to trans people. It often feel as if we fight with them, but they won’t fight with us. And to be fair, we fight with them in large part because, they’re us, T people are also often LGB as well. The opposite is rarely true.
I want us to be better. To all of my fellow trans people, always keep an eye on what’s happening around you. Protect non-binary people as well, care for Intersex people and work on your anti-racism if you’re not directly concerned by it. We’re tired of being thrown under the bus constantly, let’s make sure we don’t do the same to others. Because there will inevitably come a time where we will be accepted in society and others will be targeted, let’s break this cycle.
Absolutely! Solidarity is key.
Also, sexuality often being defined not just by who you are attracted to but also who you are means that many straight trans people might have thought of themself as gay before they realized they were trans, or others might perceive them as being a gay person, or they themselves might have unresolved feelings about their sexuality still. It can get complicated
I like some of the new terms trying to make sexuality only about who you are attracted to. Makes way more sense imo
Edit: I say this because it came to mind when you said that most of us are LGB, but in many ways we are even more tied up with the LGB than we might first think
I had a look to see if I could find the “opposite” of this poll, and found this from 2021:
Three in four Americans (75%) say they would be somewhat or very comfortable learning a coworker is transgender. Nearly seven in ten Americans (69%) say they would be somewhat or very comfortable having a close friend tell them they are transgender. This percentage has gone up, from 63% in 2019. In addition, nearly seven in ten Americans (68%) say they would be somewhat or very comfortable learning someone in their church or faith community is transgender, and nearly two-thirds of Americans (65%) report that they would feel somewhat or very comfortable learning that a local elementary school teacher is transgender, up from 56% in 2019.
Via PRRI: https://www.prri.org/press-release/survey-americans-increasingly-support-transgender-rights
It’s good to see the numbers are maybe not as bad as LGBTQ+ people think they are, although as a gay guy with trans friends, I can totally understand feeling that way. (I’m not American, mind you.)
I do wonder whether support may have dropped in the last couple of years – the bathrooms/“women’s sports” culture war feels newer than 2021 to me. 🤔
There’s a lot of people who are “okay” with trans people, but when you ask them about any actual policy, they side with transphobes. Many people who are self-reportedly “comfortable” with trans people still think women should be forced to use the men’s restroom, for example. They’ll support bans on coverage of medical care for trans people. They’ll continue to deadname or misgender those trans people. Etc.
So many people like to believe they’re not a bigot when they’re not. If you asked my parents if they’re racist, for example, they’d say “no” without hesitation and believe it. But then they’ll say things like black people are dangerous and assume someone is likely to kill them just because of their skin color, complain about black people using welfare and how white people are discriminated against, etc.
I legit was thinking “I’d date him, but I wouldn’t marry him” kind of mindsets. Which I have run into, and have never loved. But I am love-bug by trade, and I pass-a-fist on it.
Four years is a long time, especially after prevailing conservative media converged on transgender people as their punching bag du jour. Effective capture of the once-considered thoughtful, left-leading media landscape (see Washington Post, New York Times, The Atlantic, etc) and using it to flood the zone with biased, horseshit talking points does a lot to nudge public opinion.
Remember all those Iraqi WMDs that everyone said were totally there?
It’s going to take time to turn people around, and the work is going to fall onto the backs of transgender people being oppressed and victimized until those media sources can no longer deny the inhumanity they facilitated.
Not that they’ll apologize for it or anything.
North Carolina had the first “bathroom bill” in 2016. As well, by 2021 there were ten states with trans athlete bans. https://www.npr.org/2024/05/06/1249406353/transgender-bathroom-bill-republican-states
I find central Florida (Orlando, Kissimmee, etc) to be a surprisingly LGBTQ+ friendly place. Shockingly so. Support is everywhere and in everything. Even in their professional football (soccer) teams.
Hello fellow, Orlandoan!
Very true, but here in Orlando I’ve also run into plenty of people who will not hesitate to be openly transphobic. But luckily those shit heads definitely seem to be in the minority around here.
I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have heard people call transfolx “it” when their brain breaks and they have no idea how to talk like a civilized individual.
Cause they don’t. You can go to the most liberal spaces in America and sure you’ll have some folks be chill. Some folks be crazy pandering. But nothing is worse than seeing “normal ass” every day joe-schmoey ass people flashing an involuntary look of disgust when realizing they’re looking at a trans person. That’s not something they’re out here doing to intentionally hurt people, it’s just their biases shining through. It’s kinda like people clutching their purses near black folks or something, idk. I don’t care how kind people want to be, because honestly transgender people got it rough. I’ve had this talk in the past, and yeah you can be straight being trans - and be in a straight relationship - but most times unless you’re out here stealthing like a bomber you’re going to illicit some response from people. I said you could be any color in this WORLD, and if you’re straight at least you still have that connection with a majority of people. They get you, they understand you “get” the “grand road-map of life” and that you have some sort of orderly connection to them. I think a lot of trans folks throw people off of that. I don’t even think it’s coming from a malicious place all the times. I mean for sure some of the time (Kiwi Farms). But all of the time? No. Even kids, when you confront them with something against their expected gender norms can become uncomfortable. Not all of them. But it happens.
I do think that transgender people often have a hard time accepting themselves, so like yeah of course you’re gunna feel unaccepted as a whole. You can look back at how things were with gay folks and see a lot of similar issues (which to be honest still ripple through today because being a part of the majority is the easiest thing in this world I swear). Also I have heard a link between neurodivergence and gender queerity. I don’t really think I need to emphasize this, but being an individual who thinks in atypical ways in a relatively black and white world is equally tough. It’s easier to find support online when you’re talking intersectional adversity. A lot of the internet tells you you’ve got cancer, the world is on fire, and you’re going to die. It does not make for happy folks. Which I think can add another layer to this. Also gender dysphoria sucks. Inability to get the care you need sucks. Wondering if you’re doing the right thing, or if you’re just “making it all up in your head” sucks. I have seen people who’ve questioned their gender identity be re-routed by cis folks to ignore any sort of gender exploration. All I can think about there is I Saw the TV Glow. Either way, I can honestly say that outside of a singular trans person I have met (and really they had $$$, which I think helps a lot…but can’t buy you a personality) that pretty much every other trans person I have met has lived a fairly difficult life isolated from their family. I saw it with the older gals from yesteryear growing up. I have seen it with my generation. I am thankful to not see it as much with the youth of today. But I still don’t think it’s all roses. So yeah, I get why people would feel this way. Because if you’re trans - have brains and at least one other sense you can utilize to navigate this world you can see how vile people are to individuals who break societal gender norms.
They straight up killed people who did it where I grew up, and that’s why I’m not there anymore =P!
